Oh Barf.

I have a lot of freakin' fabric. I need ot find projects for all this junk so I can be rid of it. I want a big hoard for whatever, but.... I simply dont have the room for it. When my parents get their new house I will have a special corner dedicated soley to my crafting obsessions. I will sand down this beast of a deask (for it is excelent as a sewing station, perfect sotrage, perfect surface area) and repaint it to match my new room (Hindi themed again mind you.) And what a glorius sewing corner it will be. My mother will be jealous. She'll use it while I am in Long Beach.

Anyhoo, my rapid fire appointments have gone pretty good this week. Teeth are clean. Skin is getting checked on tuesday, stomach is getting scoped this usmmer and I am going on Prilosec. Eyes are worse liek I thought, but no need for new glasses. Got me some new conditioner and shampoo today, new undapants, and four new books I'm never going to get a chance to read. :P I was very disappointed in myself last semester when I found that I had done APSOLUTLY no personal reading, and we all know I certainly had time for it. Gosh. Guess I'll have to fit that in to my schedual next semester where I already have no time. Geez. Oh well, such id the life of a college student! But all of my friends seem to be making money while I am going further into debt... :/ Welp, I learned all about bad choices on Oprah today. Guess I should avoid those!

And it is finaly done.

And by done, I mean I can finally stop worrying about gifts for other people adn focus on John's. Sad, I know. But I really need to bust a move to get these presents to their recipients.... so Katie and Kenna, heads up for a call. This holiday has been incredibly hectic. Not getting off school until the weekend of christmas, dealing with finals, dealing with presents, dealing with crew, dealing with getting a job and dealing with whatever else life has thrown at me. And It is over, for the most part. Sheesh, next year I am adopting an animal in everyones name and thats all your getting dammit! Love or leave it, at least I'll fee good about it. But I enjoy making stuff for you guys.... it's my favorite part of the season, getting to bake and create for all those people I love and who love me(or at least tolerate me). Christmas ever was crazier than ever, with me doing all mine and my mothers baking that day. Christmas day was alright, least craziest my family has ever been. No joke. I didn't even get a chance to sneak away and harass Chris at work. Then we came back in time to greet my Uncle at the door, clean up, start dinner, have John show up because of last minute plan changes on his part and then we opened our stockings. Then John adn I went on a wild goose hunt for horseradish, which we found at Ranch Market 99, I lvoe that place. Then we sat down for dinner where I chewed my dad out for eating the heads off my cookies I had labeled for friends, and then I passed out while watching Ghost in the Darkness with John. And then we crashed mi padres viewing of Christmas Vacation. What a good movie. Such a classic. And that was my Christmas. Man. I got a set of pots and an Ipod shiffle outta the deal though. Nothing beats that, except the visit from my boy of course. But off I go, procrastinating on his gift again to go to the jacuzi con mi padre! w007!

ALMOST FORGOT!!!

I got the best gift ever last night. Joh gave me a necjlace he made from a seshell we had been throwing at each other when we went on a picnic a few weeks back. It's really freakin' cool and has to be one of the most thoughtful gifts ever! :D

The Nutcracker

Was great. I had a lot of fun, and the Russian guy was awesome! Hadn't seen that beast since I was like, 5 or something. It pays to have a boyfriend who works in a creepy, old theatre. I even got a tour, and had to crawl through some stuff and down a ladder. I got the whole sh'bang. I also saw Hitchhickers Guide to the Galaxy at his place afterwards. It was weird, good, but really weird.

I am way proud of myself. I forced myself to go pick up an application for the Belmont Pool! Very excited. I'm also finally getting these things I call presents out of the way..... bleck! I'll be way happy when it's all over and I can just relax with my micellaneous, non-dead-lined projects. But come next semester that will be a distant memory.... crew, school, work is looking like what ups for the next 6 months for me. I dont even know if I'm going to have time for work. My schedual is gross and theres pretty much no time for me to do anything. But it was a nice break while it lasted, it should be a nice, swift kick to the butt come January 29th.

And another one bites the dust.

Our top rower left. I am sad to say that I had nothing to say in the matter... I didn't know what was going on or what the situation was and honestly didn't feel like I deserved to have an opinion. Sounds bad, but it's true. I have been so badly displaced that girls I was in charge of last year now see me as a naive underling who needs all the help and coach that they can offer. I dont, but it pisses me off that no one besides Carla sees me as a part of varsity. I know I havn't done much to put myself out there as a varsity memeber of this team since my demotion, but they really havn't tried to include me either. If there is one thing I have relized in the past few weeks is that although you may be used to something, it can still hurt. I'm used to being forgotten and left behind and left out, and now although it doens't bother me there is still something in the back of my head that says: "Owch." What more can I do short of inviting myself over and into other peoples lives? I didn't want this to be an emo post. FAILURE.

I just feel like I should have stood up for her. I know I didn't have any reason too, and I certainly didn't stand against her, but I feel I should have said something after Carla. I should have said that they were all being sissies, and cheap, and cowardly. But I didn't, I sat there quitely, at least making eye contact with whoever was talking so they knew I was listening and hearing everything. Guess this can go on my list of things I need to work on for myself. Standing up and saying how I feel without worrying what the outcome will be.

Oh well. Sorry Allie, I know what it's liek to have something metaphorically taken away from you. It's something you can't get back and damned if it doesn suck. I just wish I had had a Carla there when it happened to me.

Last class of the year!

Le W007! Fo'sho! Ohmigosh! Sorry, slighty spazzy, it's past my bed time and I am working on holiday cd's for YOU! They are gonna rock hard core. (quite literally for the boys)

I buned myself on the toaster over today. Right above the knuckle on my left ring finger. Smooth I know.

Breakfast at 6 am tomorrow morning. Why you ask....? Because it is crew. And I live for crew. I'm fairly sure that if the Boat House Caught on fire Kay and I would be the first 2 idiots down there trying to carry the Gold Member out of it. Then we'd probably go for the Your Mama.... because she just holds so many memories. I'm special, I know.

I've also decided that Kay is that one friend you have who drags you everywhere adn makes you do things with them all the time. I have also decided that is is a friend type that I am desperatly missing. Good timimg Kay! (3 night sin a row she has drug me out of my apparentment for food or shopping. What will she do when I go home? Who knows!)

Oh, and also, The Muppets are pretty much the best thing in the world. No joke. I'd probably marry them if I could. But that would be not only weird adn awkward, but I'm fairly sure that it's illegal. Wow. Late nights and working on presents all day makes for interesting blogs. Cool. Love me for it!

My stomach and back are breaking out like crazy!

in freckles!!!!! It's weird. These are the 2 areas that get no sun so I can't figure out how they are multiplying! Oh well, I guess lifestyle, career and biology are finally catching up with me. Hurrah!

I had some other junk to write, but this was 2 days ago when I had this window open for the first time. I've been a little busy. Had my first final today, I think I did good, I know I at least did better. WIsh I had taken this much time in the begining of the semester because then I might have gotten that 4.0 I've been aiming for since 6th grade. :( Guess there is always next semester!

The Tar Tar Pits

La Brea is spanish for tar, so it's The Tar Tar Pits, silly huh? But I learned alot, and had a few good laughs, adn by few I mean many, and by laughs I mean cackle. And explosive, witch-inspired scream at the top of my lungs. Michelle and I had a blast. But first, lets talk about the end of our adventure.....

We were in In-n-Out, getting food because we were both pretty much nauseous and faint from lack of food. We are eating our meals, when this old guy walks up, excuses himself to Michelle like he wants to ask her something, then turns to me and says: "I am sorry to bother you, but you are beautiful. I want you to know that." and wlaked away. He had white hair, and a thick accent from eastern Europe. Freaked. me. out. Super creeper, interupting our meal like that, but now that I think about it, maybe he was being more granpa-esque and was just saying something that he felt needed to be told. I'm still way creeped, but it's nothing new. This semester has brought on a whole new meaning to creepiness. Gives me the jibblies. His exit also caused one of my explosive cackles.

The Tar Pits were cool. The tar it self was rather disapponting, but the skeletons and information was awesome. We took some bomb ass pictures. We figured that if he had to look at pictures of us in front of bones and crud he has probably seen enough times to draw them off the top of his head we decided to be stupid and take retarded pictures. damn it was fun! Then we wandered around the gift shop in liu for the tour, which we left 5 minutes into because he was spending way too much time on that mammoth, not to metnion the way he was talking. We high-tailed it out of there to the fauna area where we both just busted up with laughter. No joke. I almost doubled over. It was great.

Then we wandered over to Pit 91(although we never actually made it there) adn managed to find ourself in this Asian art exhibit next to the LACMA. It was empty, except us and 2 ushers. It was quiet, and creepy. We were more enamoured with teh architechture than the art, and wound ourselves to the bottom where we entered an elevater to ride back to the exit. Did I mention how creepy it was? If it wasn't for my constant sarcasm and mockery of the system we probably would have ran right out of there. And what happens the minute the doors open to the elevator? We get a mental image of the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. Creep. And what happens the minute the doors close? It starts tlaking to us. No joke, it talked ot us. Told us why the building was what it was like. Needless to say we ran outta there as fast as we could w/out freaking one of the users out. As soon as the doors closed behind us I busted up with laughter. Again. What a day we had. I definitly need to find mroe reasons to make my way up to LA, but next time I'll see about avoinding that damn LA traffic. Ick.

It's over

Tomorrow that is, until we come back for spring training 3 weeks before school starts. (can you say yck) And I baked cookies(like always), but they were a little strange. Used a recipie from BetterCrocker.com and from my Betty Crocker cook book, and it was just weird. But they turned out alright; making candy cane cookies is probably not in my future anymore (cookie cutters are just so convinient!)

And I am going to the La Brea Tarpits tomorrow for extra credit in my geology class! I'm so excited! Michelle and I are going to have a blast. (we're both nerds; however much we dont do our work we love geology)

And I've been busting my butt all day on presents, flashcards and cookies. Hooboy. Carla, Kay- your almost done! I just have a few more seams to go! Kenna-your next on the list. After that; I have no idea what I am going to do because I need to make another fabric run! Argh! Who ever thought I would run out of fabric? (that I could use at least.....grrrr)

Hurrah!

I am now officially a technicle theatre major. :) Jump for joy, i tell you, jump for joy!

But registering for classes was a big PAIN in the BUTT! Blech! Not finishing my GE's like I planned, but it's cool because I am taking make-up, costumes, and showcase (that's where I go and watch skits and crud). On otp of that I have poli sci(eww....) and biology(double eww...) but it'll be chill, because I am taking bio with Carla and hopefuly I'll find some poor, unfortunatly soul to take poli sci with. But I'll be taking 18 units. Eep! I think I'll do okay, 6 of those units are cotume and make-up design. Seriously. But I'll also be taking a weight training class(blech) for crew. And I'll be getting a job. Which I am going to be searching for as soon as I am finished with this.

As for today, it has been alright. Nothing exciting. At all. Except for what's stated above. But yesterday was cool. Lightweight 4 won, Novice 8 tied for last, mixed 8 was third(i think). Lightweight was the only race that I cared about. So I am happy with the outcome. :) John even came to miss watching my boats, so that was cool. He even got my pair's mom to make him a cheesecake. He's such a whore. Expecially since Kay's his second girlfriend. He's just an all around whore now.

After the race we went and saw The Fountain, which was interesting is not a little abstract. And by a little I mean a lot. It was a good movie overall though, no big quibs on my part. Then we had dinner and went to my place where we both passed out and napepd until I kicked him out. :)

It's offical

I've been awake for over 24 hours. Hooray me! I had a lot of things to write about, but they probebly wont be coherent because I've been awake for an entire day. But bare with me while I type what I can.

I've had a fairly successful day, if not filled with excessive amounts of driving. I swaer, it could have been a road trip. 2.5 hrs to Johns, 30+ min from his cousin's to his place, and another 2-2.5 hrs to get back to mine. Oh boy! And I have to be awake in and hour or so! w007!I'll post more later when I remember what it was I wanted to say. :P

Oh what a wonderful day!

Not. In all honesty, as a whole, it wasn't to bad. However there are some instances that have put a bad name on this day....

Firstly it is too damn cold. No joke. I've felt out of breath all day because of the dry, cold air. blech.

Secondly, some guy would not take no for an answer on fixing my car. He just didn't get the fact that I did not any money with which to pay him with. At all. Not a dime. I felt bad, and he was giving me a good deal... that I just couldn't take. :/ Oh well.

Thirdly, I lost my $130 pair of sunglasses in Vons. Super bummed. Seriously, why? I am going back tomorrow on the off chance that someone turned them in... but there were a lot of college kids milling around in there....

Oh, and I ran into Alyse. Old roomie, can you sy awkward? Just a little.

Rocks are hard.

But I still enjoy my geology class.... can't you tell by the bad pun? heehee....

So I've been doing okay. John came out yesterday and we went and harrased Kay for her birthday.... poped my pizookie cheery. It was delicious! Had fun. John+Kay+Crew+good food=way to much fun! for sure.

I also got to cox this morning. It was a nice change, got a chance to get back some old times... adn I didn't suck as bad as I thought I would w007! It was a little frustrating... but we'll fix that. It was also nice because my knee has been killing me... I though the weekend would clear that sucka up, but I was wronge. Barf. I was just glad to not be stuck on land, again. It is no bueno.

I also sucked it up and called the theatre department, got some info and emailed their undergrad advisor. I'm excited, and fightened. It's looking good, I just hope I can take this somewhere! On top of that.... no real other news.

Family and Friends Row is this Sat at 8am, $1oo a seat if you'd like to come! We teach you to row and then race the other non-rowers. It's supa fun! (It's tax deductable!)

And apparently I am uber stressed about something. Don't know what, but I've broken out like no one's business. I only do that when stressed... and then it's only a few stray zits that are easily poped. These beasties are everywhere and just under the skin, but close enough to the surface to turn my face red. WTF? I dont ever break out liek that unless it's a rash.... adn this does not appear to be a rash of any kind. Normally wouldn't bother me, because I break out around finals for obvious stress reasons, but finals are in 3 weeks! It's freaking me out because I can't think of a reason to be stressed! Christmas? CWL Paper? Crew? None of these things worry me when i think about them so I dont know! Augh! I hate it when my body rejects me for no reason.... perhaps I'm just getting sick, becaus eit seems to me like I am falling to peices.

First day back in action!

and what greets me in the morning as I bound energetically to my car, ready for a fantastic day of crewing at 5:15 in the morning? Why, none-other than a newspaper delivery van which has broken down in front of my car. Of all cars, it is double parked where mine is, with no way for me to menuver around it. Whats more? No, they do not need a jump, no, it is not a flat tire, but the vehicle is stuck in park. In park. Honestly. So we can't even roll it out of the way. Awesome. Needless to say I had a wonderful day on the ergs. The love of my life. (erging is no bueno for a practice.... no bueno indeed)

Other than that, my day had been fairly well. I may decide to get my minor in spanish now. I could totally rock that. No joke. Maybe actually learn to communicate with it. At least in theory. I still need to declare that major of mine first. So this week my goal is to call the theatre department. That's the only goal I have for the week, so when I get that done then I can rest easy. Hopefully it will be as easy to get in as I hope! Otherwise I don't know what I am going to do.... be lazy and declare art history as my major more than likely. eww. that's even more usless as a degree. Eww.

Felis Dia de Gracias!

And nobody told me that Spiderman 2 was on. Bitches.

But I made cheesecake. And it is mean cheesecake. And I dont mean that it is the best cheesecake ever, I mean that my cheesecake will kick your cheesecakes's ass. My cheesecake will make your cheesecake it's bitch, and it's not a matter of if, it is a matter of when. My cheesecake is the Chuck Norris of cheesecakes.

Hooray for INternal Bleeding!

I love Crew. We played 'Bird on a Perch," which is my new favorite game. The Ultimate Frisbee, and then Tackle Football, all in the mud. SO much fun. I have a new hero, Allie Minnie. She jumped from Steveo's truck when it was going 15 mph. She's hard core. Then we went to breakfast, and I got cinnimon roll french toast. OMG. SO MUCH FOOD! I ate it all though, it was amazing. I ate so much that there was no more room in my stomach and I burped some of it up. I'm hard core like that. GO me. :D

Comic Book Musical

Adn I don't mean turning a comic book into a musical, I mean creating a comic book that is inherently musical. Musical by nature. Like you read songs. It will be way awesome. I will make it work, don't you worry.

And you know who is going to star in that musical? Kay the Destroyer; Smashed of Hot Sauce and Master of Destruction.

I've had a reletivly good weekend, intermittedly strew in there with afternoons of crudey-ness. I think it's just the time of day. It does not sit well with me. At all.

But sunday was good. And by good I mean it probably couldn't have gotten better. Made a picnic that John and I took over looking the lovely Oil Dredge Islands with their sail boat conventions. Our blanket got attacked by seagulls when we weren't looking. I chased them away and found an empty bag of bugles which had been half fulll moments before. Good thing they were stale and I don't like them. Then we headed back to my place to be summed by Kay to go to Chipotle and then to Jo-annes, where we took full advantage of JOhn, and he was exposed to my shopping habbits. Basically, finding the most hiedeous and usless crap and then brain storming and on to use it. I bough fabric, I won't lie, I shouldn't have, but it was on sale. And it was Glorious.

Besides that, I got about 3 hours of sleep last night, had a hige ass cappuchino which pushed me through all the way to my acai bowl, and beside the ten minutes I took around noon to close my eyes, I havn't been tired once. It's weird. I've been rather productive and energetic. Annoyingly energetic. I guess it's better than being emo because of lack of sleep. But Rae is not emo. Rae is not an emo kid.

So we're good.

And I am glad we're good. Takes a whole lot of unneeded stress offa me. Just goes to show what happens when I board myself up into my little corner of the world.....

astrology

you know what you get when you mix water with fire? Fire-Water.

Damn striaght people. Oil.

Or for the Indian in me, Alcohol. :)

Grey's Anatomy

THE MAN BOOBS ARE BACK!

The great Pumpkin

I saw a Neon(the car), and it was orange, w/black car paint to make it look like a giant jack-o-lanturn. It made my spiraling downward afternoon perk up just long enough for me to get home and get some food into my system!

Had a geology test, did more or less on it. Had archeology, that was so-so. My schedual for next smester is looking like a buncha stuff I don't want to take... poli-sci, biology, another physical science, and some random crud I need to finish up in the other GE's.... not to mention i need tot alk to the head of the theatre depo to see if I can get in. Going to see and academic advisor in a week or so. Hopefully I'll feel better after that.

I've been doing pretty good lately... seeing as I have a lot of time to sit around and do nothing, and by nothing I mean think. And I think i've been a rather poor friend this past semester. I have yet to call anybody outside my family and John, nor have I written any letters, drawn any pictures, nothing. I have also yet to declare a major.... which is stressing me in more ways than one. I feel bad, but at the same time I don't really feel like it's entirly my fault that I have been a ppor friend. I amall the way out here in Long Beach, I am rowing instead of coxing, I amat school every day until 4 or so. So it's not totally me being a complete retard.... although that has been the case more than once this semester so far. But I am going to be working on that. I am going to try and be more outgoing for my friends, and to be more responsible for myself and for my family. As the semester comes to a close and the holidays approching, I see myself doing better than what I think I can do. At least this is what I hope to acheive.

Narf 2006

LIGHTWEIGHTS WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say I am way excited. And John was there to watch which made it even better because I got to take him to lunch and expose him to my crew gals who are my life up here! I had losta fun. And lunch was eaten with my best 3 gallies from the team.... if Lauren and Steve-o were there it would have been way awesome! I liked yesterday. Yesterday was amazing. It would have been only better if I had had time to call Shane.... oh well, guess I'll have to deal. I'll write him a letter to make up for it.

A History Test

multiple choice = good, essay = incoherent. Carla didn't feel to hot either. But then she's good at bsing essays and I can't write to save my life.

Then I went to critical thinking and used osmosis to absorb the information being spewed at me.

Then Carla and I had a nice chit-chat in the boat house parking lot. After talking with her I alwasy feel better about life, she is so positive. I'm really glad that I had her as a room mate my first semester, I'm fairly sure she's the reason I keep coming back to Long Beach. (School and crew wise that is.) She's incredibly different from me but similar at the same time. It's good. She tells me straight up if I'm being stupid. Not beating around the bush with her.... I know when she's in a bad mood or not. I like having friends like that. Thats why I keep coming back to crew! :)

Poll working

is not what I remember it to be. I ache, and I am strained, but the tylonol is finally kicking in and the heating pad is doing its job, and I'll be feeling better soon despite the arian nazi I had to deal with today. But I shall spare any who reads this the details.... it is over, and I will have a $100 paycheck waiting for me at the begining of december. :)

Oh boy

It has been a monday if ever I had one. Crew was icky, but I got over it.

Umm, I was writing this last night before John called. oops. Over all it was my day where I was running offa a sugar crash.

In today's news: Krispy Kremes are now ont eh starbucks list, polls aren't any fun without brian gay, steve nosav or carla. And I don't want to eat McDonalds for dinner. :(

The death of me

Will either be by flaming car, or exploding hear due to starbucks coffee, either way it will more than likely be on my way from CSUSB. But that's okay, it'd totally be worth it. :D

What a weekend it has been.... both super long and not long enough. I basically spent the entirty of it with John(no complaints.) and his boys. Which are good boys, I do so enjoy their company. Needless to say it's midnight on sunday, adn I am in no mood to sleep, darn those starbucks iced coffee drinks. But damned if it didn't do the job of making me not fall asleep at the wheel. Guess that's the price I pay; my monday will be interesting. Didn't get a lot of sleep last night, being that I was taking care of the sickly boyfriend. I didn't mind though... I love to take care of those who I care about. Met his cousin Mindy(supa cool) and her and I dosed on Chris' futon whilst Nacho Libre played and John napped on Nicks bed and Chris and Brandon did god kows what online. Also helped John's family finish packing their life away... off to Nebraska they go! I think my family felt a little cheated, and granted they probably were, but I had had some time stashed away for them, but no one can control the stomach virus' that abound in this world, but they understood. Everyone (minus my brother, whom I'm fairly sure never came down to say hi or goodbye to me or John) was concerned for him and trying to make him feel better. Even Flip was worried and came and got me. But I enjoyed my time with my boy none-the-less, even though he felt as if he were on his death bed. But since I don't liek to see him suffer, I don't hope to have to deal with that again anytime soon, as I am sure he would much rather spend his time with me otherwise than passing out and being incoherent. :)

Thindercats, HO!

I guess I am going to be taking that back to best buy... my dad is more concerned with me spending money and not with me having given him a birthday present. The idea was gotten across though; he did aappriciate it, he just doesn;t believe he's going to watch it more than once, and he's right, he gave himself more than I did on that one. I didn't even expect him to watch it once. It's freakinf rustrating though, that man is impossible to shop for. I don't know what to get him, I don't know what to make him. We get him the same crap every year adn he's never excited or impressed. It sucks. My one direct hit, and I'm shot down. I'm okay though.... just really frustrated. This is getting really frustrating.

Today has been good so far. I was a little frustrated yesterday because I just was not on it at crew (didn't help that they weighed us on tuesday... or monday. I really dont remember) adn just really wasn't doing good at all. Today, however, we did head races and let me tell you; our boat was all over it! It was really good, practically set; I did catch one crab, but i was able to fix it myself, Michelle caught one too which I helped resolve, but we beat the novice boat which is always good. Then Steve went out of his way to pull his truck up to me to tell me how good I did today and that I am being moved back to 5 seat... yay! Still the engine, but hell, at least it's the upper engine. Bunching all the mostly varsity members togather... makes me feel less like a freak. :P

I also went grocery shooping yesterday at Trader Joe's... and I only spent $20! Yeah! So awesome! Got me some strawberries.... which are quite good. Picked me up some seasonal cliff bars as well. Not to mention my pizza burger patties and sprouted wheat granola bagles. I know, I'm a freak. :D

Halloween....

was a bust. I royally messed up this year. I even had a decent costuem together too. But I am okay with it; after talking to my mom(who seemed more bummed than me) on my 3 hour drive from the boathouse to my appartment(longest yet!) and then to John, I am okay. I was having my emo-drive-of-halloween-shame from Irvine(don't even ask), with an emo blog all ready written and edited in my mind fresh and ready for the typing. But I am okay now. Somehow, when I should be super bummed, others sometimes take the bumming for me. I mean honestly, my mom was way more upset than I was about me driving in my car with my costume on for 3.5 hours for no reason thatn I was. I got some good pictures, which I will post later, and I looked awesome. It's too bad that I was only able to share it with my rather un-festive roommate; but that's okay. Consoling thoughs over my misadventures seems to make me more cheery, seeing as how I have to be the one to put a positive spin on things. I like it that way though, it's good practice for me. :)

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Is looking to be real good. Got some cleaning, got homework, I plan on going to target for some pumpkin carving materials at some point and going that too. Then I'm just going to kick it.

Yesterday was great. Went out to see John, watched on of the coolest movies ever, finally won an argument too.(not that I ever lose those, I just don't articulate my amazing pursuesive skills all the time. :) Then we rocked miniature golfing. And by rocked; I mean were pretty much the best miniature golfers ever. For reals. I promise. No joke. For sure..... and then we went to dinner, spending money on me like I don't like, but spending time with me like do. Then we just kinda hung out. I had a lot of fun. :D And guess what? I get to go back tuesday adn show off my 50's housewife halloween costume too! This is just tuurning out to be an wesome week!

I like the way in the past year or so I have met two people who have changed me a lot, but not in a bad way. It more of pushing me to be a better me, and I am really glad that I have them. I havn't had people like this for a while and I am gratful I finally do again. :)

I am through.

No more paiting. No more sewing.(for now at least) Nothing for me to do but be a fat, lazy cow and let my back de-tweak it self.

I am also, officially broke. Nothing but grocery money left. Not even enough for one more months rent. I hate not having a job. I went through this with the parents ealier this year and we decided me getting a job was not a priority. I'd still like to have one; at least to take up some of my time that I spend thinking of the things I can't buy. Whatever; I'm jsut using up my second semester of no job now instead of last year. w007!

Anyhoo... got my costume done. Just have to figure out how I want to do my hair...... and I am good to go. Got the dress, the shoes, the jewlery, maybe a ribbon or belt may be needed, but other than that it is over with! I have halloween sucess this year! And I have my pumpkin to carve! Yay! Looking like a full and exciting week!

My eyes

hurt. :( Probably because I'm not wearing my glasses... but that doesn't seem to help much anymore, anyhow. That, and I'm jsut in a crudy mood. Not sure why, but I am. It wasn't a bad day either, actually was fairly good. Nothing to exciting. But now the hole in my hand is hurting, my back is aching, it's too hot in here, I'm tired, I don't want to go to bed yet, and I'm whining. Blech.

On an up note, cinnimon tes is muy excelente. Oh; and my mother can type better spanish than I can. I want to know where she was back in the day when I was getting A's in those classes. Grr. Oh well. Guess I'll just have to take a semester in Spain and show her up. :)

Blue monday

I definitly had not. But lets start with sunday.

Eat some of that berry cobbler I made because I was too damn tired the night before to eat any. It was amazing. I'll have to make that junk again. Unfortunatly my low blood-sugar episode from saturday was still lingering; and so I did not feel like anything. sat on my bed for a good 40 minutes for I called John even though I told him I'd do that after I finished my homework..... that's wha the 40 minutes was for, but it was certainly not spent doing anything of the kind. Mostly admireing the halloween things I may need for my costumes.... if i ever get it together. Then I went over to John's, but not before dropping my dog off and dumping a present into Robin's mail box. (not really a presesnt per say, I had her game and didn't want to hold it hostage for another 2 weeks, so I wrapped in some spiffy paper and wrote her a little note.) Then I got to watch boys play shooting games for 2 hours. I wont sya it's my favorite pass-time, but between John's screen and the 3 flat screens the place had going no all sorts of different weird channels, I'd say it was a good way to spend my zoning out time. Got me all ready for the drive back! Didn't get back to Long Beach until around 8, and John didn't leave 'til around midnight (surprize, surprize!) what a long good-bye that was! But it was cool, tide me ove until next weekend when we do whatever those 2 boys decide.

Woke up birght and early this morning, 4:45 sharp to get ready for crew. I endded up being ready earlier thatn usual and headed out. Fotgot I had pretty much nother to eat the day before and so only brought my water bottle. Felt that after the run. Hoo-boy! A little dizzy was I... but nothing I'm not used to handling. (remember back in the day when I passed out? Good times.) Once we got in the boat I was fine. Rowed 3 islands. I got to set stroke some of the time because we were in a starboard rigged boat, finally I get to take a stab at stroking! I think I did alright, I know I was the problem for most of the rush when Kay was stroke, but I felt I kept it steady when I was in the fornt. I also snagged a wicked blister on my plam, nasty little peice of skin that was ugly and annoying. Cut that beast off with my pocket knife! I know, I'm hard core like that.

Then I headed off for school, not feeling particularly tired, much to my surprize. Decided that since I had a test in my 1st class I wasn't going to take any chanced and got myself a Pumpkin Pie Latte at the Coffee Bean. It was delicious. Eat my bag of cereal while I studied for my test(like I wasn't able to do all weekend. Went to class, took my test, and felt really good about it. Then during my 3 hour break I also was able to write out some nifty flash cards for my next class, adn test. I was very focused today and not tired at all. I was glad. I got a chicken tamale at El Pollo Loco that I was excited about until I ate it, and discovered a lack of chicken. Cheap Bastards. Whatev. Then Carla and talked a bit before our classes started and then I took my Geol test, which I am very confident with. Went grocery shoppinf, so now I have food. I have nothing left to do today besides shower and get my things ready for tomorrow. One of the better Mondays I've had.

One of the longer and content-less post too.

Oh Saturday...

Before I go on, can I just say that I got my firsdt drunk dial last night and it was from Compton. It was amazing, I kinda wish I didn;t pick up so he left it as a messge so I could listen to it again. John was there. He knows. It was fantastic. We laughed real hard. I love you Compy!

Anyhoo, today was the day of BBQ's. ONe for my dad, one for Jefe. My dad's went rather nretardedly, but once his family left and it was just us and ZG-Sidy; it was all good. We even got some awesome pictures. Then I went to Jefe's for about an hhour before heading back to my place to go bowling with the family. It was great! I tried to pull a doubled-legged stuart move adn ate shit, and then bowled a strike laughing so hard I could hardly see. Oh it was good. My mom and I laughed for a while. Then my brother and aI went off to play games while our parents decided to drink tequila, or whiskey- I'm not enirely sure. But I was designated DD(redundance!!!) and so drove us all home, quite safely, in mi Padre's vehicle. Good times. I like the way later in life my parents develope a taste for booze, conviniently when they have 2 underage DD's to pick from..... smooth.

A freakin' awesome day

After this morning, when I was finally ready, I sat down to make some flash cards, and John was at the door. Didn't get those done. :D The we headed over to Kay's because I had to drop off a poster, and she yakked away like she always does. It was great! Then I bombarded him with the new things i found on youtube and the like before heading off to Best Buy and then Home. Went to his house first, enjoyed his fmailies company. Then headed off for my home and had dinner, and then didn't do any of the things we had planned. That was okay, we watched a movie about dragons (whch I fell asleep during) and then watched random things on COmedy Central until a quarter 'til three in the morning, just like old times. :) We basically just enjoyed each others company... and my mom's for a while because we had an hour long chit-chat with her. It has been a really good day.

And so it begins...

My weekend officially began this morning at 8:30 when i finally got home. I decided to treat myself to retared cinnimon pancakes with boysenberry jam(my new favorite).At crew we had our first quasi-race. I say quasi because yes, we raced, but it was also against our own team and we beat them by a good 5+ boat lengths. Probably more because I have horrible distance guessing. I caught 2 major crabs. Hardcore like, we had to stop rowing temporarily both times. Thankfully Rachel seems to be pro at pulling those beast right out of the water for me, so we jumped right back on it. I had fun, even if she called my pair out with only 10 strokes left.... not a good move, and something to royally peeve me off. (I dont care that much right now because it wasn't a real race. If it was I'd be super pissed. Super pissed.

When I was done with my breakfast I went about the business of finishing Jefe's B-day present. I should probably make a card too, but I'll do that about 5 minutes before I head over to his place tomorrow. Then the roomie and I cleaaned liek mad beasts- this place is imaculate. I don't even care if that word doesn't fit in the sentence, thats what it is. Then I cleaned my work areas, fixed my degenerating nails, got dressed and packed, called Kay to see if I could bring my poster over there yet(no answer). And after I finish this post I will attempt to study (for reals!) until the boy shows up and the girl calls. I also have to go buy my dads b-day present still.... SO much money spent! He better appriciate it... I dont even care if he watches it or not...

Flags of Our Fathers

Carla and I went to a special free preveiw of that at our school last night. That movie is so amazingly good. I have never been so moved by a war movie before, it was absolutly amazing. I highly recomend it to everyone. I did have a minor freak out at the begin of the movie though... this one Marine totally reminded me of Dan Valencia. No joke, Carla got a little nervous because I gasped super loud when I saw him on screen. Looked like Dan if he was still alive, I'm sure of it. He even had the same trussting, fun-loving personality as Dan did. I was super-weirded out. I looked for his name in the credits, in vain, but gosh, I tell you guys- I swear this guy was exactly like him!

Other than that, nothing new. One of my blisters peeled off. It's bugging the crap outta me. My backs been all spazy. Schools been bleck. Same-ol', same-ol'. Still working on the shoes......

And it is over.

My weekend has finally come to an end and moday hit me like a semi doing 100 on the freeway. I definitly had a monday. Woke up at 1:30 last night for no reason... and then again at 4:30. I don't know what my body is trying to do to me. Got ready for school and left for crew. After getting shewed out by Carla for not going to the running store and getting analyzed for my shoes instead of just getting new ones, I went on the run. (ps: I'm in crew, not running; totally not spending that much money on running shoes.) And the run really wasn't that bad, I ended up being next to a lot of people which I'm not used to ebing. I don't know if it's the slow people behind me getting faster or the faster people in front of me getting slower. Then Michelle got to hear the chorus that is my knees as we prrepared for jumpies. Then we got on the water for a 60 min rowing peice. I was in no way prepared for that. Oh boy. I eventually caught on, but it was by no means what it was like last friday. I came away with some new blisters....like the niffty one on the side of my thumb that actually hurts for a change... Then I went to school, made it through Archeology even though I forgot a pen, hobbled out to my car for one afterwards and my phone that I apparently forgot. Hobbled back and sat for my 3 hour break, freezing, and trying to figure out if I should get El Pollo Loco over Robeks because it was cold, deciding I really didn't want anything, got a clif bar from the convience store and went to wait for my next class. Practically fell asleep the first half of class, then out of nowhere was perfectly awake. And here I am.

Now for the fun part: my day with John yesterday! It was good times, drug him to the Japanese garden adn then the Indian Pole even though he was oassing out on my couch. Exposed him to Ok Go videos and then we headed out to Huntington because we couldn;t find any place playing the Illusionist. We ended up seeing Employee of the Month, which was way entertaining. "I thought you were Mexican, not Puerto Rican!" Best quote. Ever. Then we walked out on the pier adn had dinner at Ruby's. When we left it was strangly warmer then we we had gone it. We preceded to act like 8 years olds, liek always before settling down and sitting on a bench for a while. Then we came back to my place, I forced Invader Zim on him in the form of A Room with a Moose. Then he left and I passed out on my bed for 30 minutes when Carla called be back from when John made me call her to see if she wanted to do something around 4-ish. But sunday was a good day. A very good day. :)

Boba and Porn

Yeah. Last night was interesting. Went over to Robin's and tried to figure out how to connect our games, and boy, is it weird. But she saved me(after playing my characters and letting them die....) and then she gave me a new t-shirt(always awesome!) it is red and says "Lifegurad" but has some writing scribbled all over it: "Ex-Lifguard- Some blue kid got me fired." I laughed real hard and put it on right away. I was way excited and still am. I may have to wear it to crew tomorrow. :)

And then we went on a man hunt for Katie, and upon not finding her at either Albersons nor her home we split and met Deanna at boba. Got boba at the other places because Tapioca Express was packed; and just so everyone knows- the Green Tea house sucks royally. Didn't even finish my boba. Yuck. But Katie and Billy finally showed up. Mostly listened to Robin and Deanna talk about work until they showed up. Then, somehow, they managed to drag both Deanna and I Porn Shop-hopping. Oh man. First place was absolutly terrifying. Terrifying. The second wasn't so bad because it was mostly novelty items for bachelor(ette) parties and birthdays and crude like that. But still, after that first shop; I Deanna and I are traumatized. We actually physically left that first store 5 minutes before the others. Terrifying. I knew there was a reason I slept in the car that night long ago.... I think I'm going to go wash my hands again. Never know whose been toching things in those places.

This makes me happy:

It makes me hopeful for everyone. Perk up. :)

Saturday.....

a Little update whilst I wait for enchildadas and then head off for Robin's and then boba.... Listening to my brother try and get my mom to worry about him being at a party. Her and I argued about which one of us was pushing him into drinking more, and her and I talked about how nwhen we're smashed we wants lots of water. It has been a good day talking about being drunk. I lvoe it!

Good morning!

And what a good morning it turned out to be! (ignoing all the ants in my fridge and freezer....) Crew was wonderful today! Amazing! We rowed on the feather, on all eight(very difficult, expecially on your second day), there were rainbows, and more rainbows, and the rainbows kept getting more amazing, and it rained a little on us(a nice light sprinkle) and a gorgeous marmarlade sunrise! Amazing!

The rest of my day really didn't measure up; but I do enjoy shopping wiht my mom!

What I did today:

. Beat Zapdos
. Ate and Entire thing of Chips Ahoy
. Got a note on my car from Carla
. Painted my nails black (getting into the holiday spirit... :)
. Listen to my Geology teacher say: "Relative Dating is not a trailor park concept."
. then he said(while imitating a hydrogen atom): "This is offensive."
. Facebooked some peoples
. Complained baout how terrible my running shoes are
. Enjoyed a quasi-nap between Critical thinking and geology
. Wrote in here. :)

Monday

Bleck. A monday it was indeed. Waking up and finding that the ants helped themselves to my scones was not a good way to leave for crew.... and hopes of my bike being stolen as I left crew were no better. Almost falling asleep in Architecture was bad, and then geology just took too long. And then finding out the ants had gotten into my peanutbutter wasn't a nice suprize on ym reture home. Bleck.

I have since been better. I got my coin heaven cloud and question mark box outta the way on my shoes. Despite color issues, I am most proud of that question mark box! That means only one side left til I'm done..... Almost there! I've also been way popluar on facebook today. Everyone is impressed with then pictures from Novice Fest. :) I also coerced John into a facebook account..... hehehe.... :D

I have also come to terms with the fact that I have reletivly no homework. For any of my classes. They are all lecture based, so there is no need to read, except in certain cases, and none of them have more the 1 paper and/or project due this semester. I lucked out. Now all I have to do is get over my lazy ass-tactics and declare a major and get a freaking job. Get a freaking job. That would difinitly be a good way to suck less. I might have to start going to those extra evening practices for crew. :)

Mmm... Novice FEST!!!

Was so much fun this year. That whole everyone one on each teams varsity still thining of me as a coxswain totally is awesome. I didn't sit in a cornor this time either. :) It was a lot of fun. Carla and I got monsters before we went, along with sankes for the drunks. Called John on her speaker phone on the drive there....hehehe... that was way entertaining. I should probably call him to make sure he's not completly confused. :)

I took a lot of awesome pictures. They are all availiable on facebook for everyone to veiw. :D I did however, against my plans(not my will) drank. It was only 2 shots(of beer.......) when we had the boat races.(A crew drinking game... duh.) Varsity kicked some major punk-novice ass both times!!!!! (I was on the winning team!) Then Carla and I(and eventually the whole party) danced to 'Jump on It,' got all the gals to flex, to a butt picture, and managed to meet all of the lovely novice boys. (yes--they were indeed lovely, some made me wish I sould fill out dresses as nicly as them.) And of course, my night would not be complete with out a drunken version of Julio or Jonathan to coerce to sleep. Didn't get to bed until 4:30, but it was well worth it. :)

Then Carla and I went and saw the Ilusionist today. And OMG! No questions, not tlaking about it, jsut go and see the freaking movie; it's worth any amount of money you will pay. I promise you. Carla and I were floored. And I mean floored. Just do it okay? For me? Thanks. :)

oh!

Before I forget, Brian went out of his way to tell me how impressed him and Steve were with my progress and effort I've been putting into rowing. Huge ego boost. Made the begining of my evening last night! It was wonderful. Thats all.

So I totally made

Some bomb-ass tuna salad. No joke. On my lunch break from painting and cleaning house I decided to make my hummus with the rosemary I bought the other day. (Carla made basil hummus... and I like rosemary- I figured it come out as well. It didn't.) While the hummus is still chunky with too much salt, the tuna is amazingly fantastic. I mixed everything together, deciding to add the mayo and mustard last(I've been told to replace my mayo with mustard, but I'm not entirly sure I'll like that. Since all I have is chipotle mustard to boot. SO I was going to go with a hybrid mixture) But after I dumped most of the jar of relish I had, I relized that although it wasn't as moist as I usually make it(which happens to be too moist... so I was avoiding that problem) it had no need for mayo or mustard to make it spreadable! SO excited! Managed to kick out what always makes my tuna unhealthy, and it tastes amazing wiht the rosemary by the way. Best tuna ever! SO Excited! I think when I'm done eating it I'm gonna call my mom and tell her. She'll appriciate that.

Emo-freakin-tastic

Even though I've been wearing them for over 10 months, and I made them last winter, I am still getting compliments on my blue wave shoes when I wear them out. From people I see all the time. And it's not like I save them for special occasions either, if its tennis shoes I wear it's those. I never wear my chucks anymore, and I absolutly detest wearing my running shoes anywhere but Crew. (I also think those are screwing my feet up..... need some actual running shoes.) But this has nothing to do with my emotastic mood. But it is funny, because I thought I'd be coming back with all kinds of good feelings with all the thoughts that were going through my head.

I went to a BBQ at the Boathouse tonight for members of the club and the college teams. Not to many showed except for a ahndful of the faithful boys, the coaches, Elena and I, 2 novices that left early, and Alyssa showed up eventually. It was smal, but we had fun. Good group talking, good fun. I went by myself, and I was way proud that I managed to walk in there all on my own when I expected to be the only one to have shown up yet. I was also proud that I managed to have a decent conversation with Elena and Alyssa. Or anyone there for that matter.

But when I got in my car and drove away I couldn't help but feel a little bad. I'm not sure why, at all. It may have something to do wiht me being tired, but that is rarly the case. Maybe it's a combination of hermit-esque behavior, paired with missing John, and the haning out that used to go on back home, and a fmaily to be hermit-like with and a dog to chill with. Slightly homesick I suppoose, but I don't ever get the traditional homesick feeling. But then I don't generally have the correct reactions to things right off the bat. I have to give it a few days, or weeks, to sink in. :
I'm a litte nervous with Novice Fest tomorrow, I don't want to be the same ol' wall flower I generally am at parties. I don't want to ride the coat tails of any of the others gals. Hopefully my picture taking strategy wiht prevail once again. Guess we'll see. At least I don't feel so emo any more.

Oh my.

So, I pretty much have the best boyfriend in the world. Ever. John asked me on Tuesday what time I thought I'd be home on Wednesday, and made me promise to be there at 4 for something to be delivered, hinting at some flowers. So I get home around 3:45, put my things down,s et up my lappy, get myself a glass of juice and a granola bar because I was starving. So I look down at my clock adn see that it's four and I think to myself that whatever it is he was sending would probably be showing up soon when I hear a knock at my door. I peak out the window, and what do I see? John himself. Oh my god, I was so surprized! I didn't know what to say, and he brought me a bear to keep my company. :) And so my entire rest of my day was spent wiht him in my living room being the dorky, 9 year olds we really are.

Then today was fun. Crew was decent. Carla gave me a ride to school because we have the same class and I was going to walk because I am to lazy to fix my bike. Wandered around with her all morning, went to class with her, met her after our other separate classes, went to Westminster to her bank, wandered the mall (I got 3 DVD's and a CD rom at Best Buy, she is a terirble influence on me! BUt I"m sure John would contest that.) I managed to maek it away from the mall without anything however, but on my way out whilst putting my sunglasssed on, the side broke and shanked me in the eye. Apparently, since I have not rode my broken bike in 2 days, something had to make up for it. Go me. My eye hurt for a really long time because it hit really hard, but I laughed because of the irony I found in it. Then we went grocery shopping, and I obviously came away with some food I really did not need, but I am over it. Off I go to make dinner!

Oh geez.....

guess what I did today? i wiped out on my bike. Hardcore. Have the abraised knee and all. Best part? A 5th/6th grader was there and came back to make sure I was alright. I ended up helping him with his own bike chain, which broke on him again. :/ He was cute though, if I was in elementry school he'd totally be my boyfriend.

Worked the crap outta my legs today... 2.5 miles and then an erg relay. I know none of you know what that is, but it's hell. And then I biked up the hill of death. And then I trudged up and down campus and stairs. Then busted the left one falling off the bike. Needless to say, my knees are going to hate me. :(

On a good note, I got a 9 out of 10 on my critical thinking paper, that's a A-! :D Way excited about that one.

Oh boy!

Geez, what a weekend this has started to be! We did lunges at crew instead of running, a nice change, onver a 100 of them, needless to say my ass is on fire today(in the good way:) ) then we rowed 2 islands, which was also a good change. The a few of the gals rode our bikes (Allie and I) or rollerbladed(Carla and Michelle) to Mimi's, which is like a 1.5-2 miles away. On flat ground though. :D That was quite awesome. I love rifing my bike! (even though it seems to want me to die.... oh well!)

The drive home wasn't to bad, stayed awake the whole time easily! (w00t!) And I got here and vegged out, ended up being way tired. But I ammanged to make turkey sandwhiches for my mom, dad and myself, which were healthy and delicious! ;P Sorry... I really am on my health kick. BUt I had 1 cupcake and 2 cookies yesterday ontop of a giant thing of hot chocolate. I'm smooth.

Helped my mom with the Football feed. Then I mosied on over to drama and their improv club. Matt was way surpirzed to see me (he had an interesting dye job.... no sure if I like it or not) and then Compton was super-stoked I was there.

Matt: "did he just call you Dominos....?"
Me(not relising Compton had): "Uh, yeah, he did."
Compton: "Uncontrollable laughter!"

Then we explained Compton's boredom on the prank call I received, which was hilarious!
AFter that I helped out at the football game (and got another chance to wear my lettermans!) I managed the gear booth, sold a grand total of 10 items, but I managed to walk away with a Serra beater. :) Way happy. Regarless of what I was wearing, I still managed to come away freezing. So I blasted the heat in my moms car while I attempted to call Katie and sound co-herent. I still need to myspace her...... :P As soona s she picks up Billy says: "Is that Robin?" that made me laugh. Out loud. Since they were at a movie we didn't talk long, but we are hanging out today, so that should be cool.

Then I got home chilled on my comp for a grand total of like 7 minutes. Then I called John and preceded to fall asleep on the phone. :P That what I have so far. PLanning on hanging with Katie today, maybe grab myself some Deanna action as well. Might call Kenna if I dont pass out when I get back from whatever I'm doing. The I have my mom's triathalong to watch tomorrow! Yay! :D

a good day

I dont know why, but since the 99 cent store with Carla yesterday I've been in a GREAT mood! Ran the stadium today, bleck, but I had on my super comfy, super short spandex, so it was cool. And cold. But I brough my sweats, and a swe'atshirt, so when they sprung coxing on me I wasn't all surprized. I mean I was, but at least not freaking cold. Coxed pretty good too. Wanna know what I've learned most since I've started rowing? My coxing isn't bad, at all. I'm okay. Not going to say I'm great, but I'm certainly not as terrible as I made myself out to be in my head.

Once to school on my bi-weekly bike ride, I managed not only to run into some parked bikes, but I also fell down some stairs, while on my bike. I just dont seem to have any luck with that beast. Oh well. Still going to ride him to Nick's tomorrrow. :D

Had breakfast with Kay, always fun. That girl and I have some crazy ideas. I'm going to be Rogue for Halloween and she's going to be an American Gladiator. We both feel the need to wear the spandex. :)

History was fun, Carla and I actually sat next to each other, for once we both got there at the same time. We also ran into Lisa, which was cool. She looked really good, I miss her. :( I wish she could come back to crew..... just to much for her to handle though. Oh well!

Then I got back to my place around 1 and painted my left shoe for over 2.5 hours.... and got Bowser. He looks rad, but I need a breather before I try and bust the rest of those beast out.

Hump Day!

Almost done! One more day of school, another of crew, and then it's the weekend! Yee-haw! :) (I've been so done with this week starting around 2:45 this afternoon.....)

Crew's been good. I'm doing well. Seeing possible complaints, but I'll save them until i really need them to spare you all. :)

Carla took me to the 99 cent store today... we spent like an hour and a half in there! When her and I are together man, we take our time and do it right! I managed to coem away with some pretty neat junk.... already x-mas shopping. Got part A of 3 presents so far. They will be awesome, and they will be loved. I promise. Because if they 're not it'll be the last time I make things. I swear. No joke. (okay, really, it is a joke. I'm in a good mood, can'ya tell???) But I alos got some things that are just plain cool. :P

She also fed me. I feel both healthy and full, not a generally good combination, but it seems to be working for me at the moment. :) Her apartment is really nice. I wish I could have a place like that. I wish I could afford a place like that. Oh well, my place is cozy. :D

My dear madre

how does she do it? Somehow she always makes me cry at exactly the wronge time because of something, but at the end makes me feel at least less stressed. Are her solutions based upon the need for our plans to change or her desparate need to get me to stop sobbing? Is it me whose twisting her arm until she tells me what I want to hear or are they really compromises that she needs to make because she has put to much pressure on me to do something I'm not ready to do? I love the woman, but I don't even know if I have her wrapped around my finger or if she is truly doing what she does because it is the best thing for me. And if that is the case, I have some serious catching up to do with my age group. Look at everyone else, they certainly don't have the same draw backs I have. I may seem oblivious to everything, but I notice details others don't, I notice the way people carry themselves, the tones in thei voices, where there eyes go when they are talking to someone else, how many umms, uhhs and okays they put into their sentences. I do it to myself to, I am constanly aware of what I say, how I say it and if it came across the way I wanted it too. I like to mess wiht language, see who can find all my mistakes, most only find the superficial ones. :)

I dont know where this is going, but it certainly is a good way of procrastinating. :P

3 movies in one weekend

is still no match for the weekend when Katie had her knee surgery, but damn, he's trying. If he had had saturday, I'm sure it would've come close, real close. AVP, Phonebooth and Identity. He's trying to kill me, I know, what can I do? I like the attention.

Feeling really unmotivated right now, I dont' even want to make my lunch and pack my bookbag for tomorrow. My weekend was far too short, and so will the one's that follow, expecially if I get a freaking job, which I am disinclined to do at the moment, just because I worked non-stop all summer and the semester before that. Bleck. Real life sucks. Sometimes I think high school wasn't so bad, but then again, I guess I missed that train. :P

My weekend

Has been awesome and strange. Went to San Bernardion on friday to check out John's campus and enjoy their 'best mexican food anywhere.' Also watched Alien vs. Predator, which is not scary when your mkaing fun of it. :P Then we drove down to SD adn surprized my parents, who freaked out. It was hilarious, and my mom gave John 'bonus points.' (which he was consequently going for, for when he traumatizes me with scary movies she wonthat ehim forever.) Then I spent saturday with the fam. Went bowling with el padre y hermanito. Got some awesome socks, games got progressivly worse (I'm just not very consistent yet)and then had a DDR machine eat most of my $5 in change I got for video games.....and my brother was a jerk, like always. Picked my DDR songs, didn't even play, didn't even stick around and watch me and made me loose my last turn. :( It's okay though, I smacked him around a bunch. Then I went to Skyshow with my moms staff and ex-staff, made her annoyed because my dad and I both did our own thing, because it wasn't our staff hoo-ha. Dad walked off somewhere and I called JOhn because they played "Cottoned Eed Joe." which turned into a 40 minute conversation. Then we went into the staduim to watch the end of half time and I got wedged in between my brother and Derek. It was very uncomfortable. Then we did some musical chairs and I enned up where Derek had been and Amy Hobbs where I was so I was next to my mom and not boys. Derek tried to sit in the same seat as me, but neither I nor my dad were having any of that. My dad and I also got a pre- and post-game talk on our way to and from our car. The fireworks were amazing.... got them on video and took pictures. :D Then on thee way back we saw some drunk hit a car, which would've been us if my dad had merged over in time like he wanted. That car got munched. Scared the crap outta my mom.

Today I am going to be playing my brothers game boy (see if I can't bum his other one offa him for a week so I can bug John on the way back.....) with my nre POKEMON GAME!!!!! All you need to know is that I am a relaxed Squirtle with a Charmander as a pal. That's it. Ride back with John to San Bernardino, show him junk on my computer(dont remember what....) and then head back to the LBC, where I will attempt to do some form of stufying for my Archeology test and work on that take-home 'quiz' in critical thinking..... SO not looking forward to that. Bleck. BUt I hafta finish this cd I'm making..... I get to harass John with my music on our way back. :D

PS

my bike bite me again. On my heel. it's super hot.

3rd in three days....

Thats right,. someone tried to pick up on rae, again. This guy and his friend got CArla and I to subscribe to free news papers before working the moves on us. I didn't hear what the other guys was talking to Carla about, but I'm sure it ran just like my conversation did.

Frat Guy: "Do you liek running?" (refering to the sweats and junk I was wearing)
Rae: "No, not really, BUt I have to for crew. I much prefer swimming."
FG: "Oh, that's cool. What are you doing on the 29th?"
R: "I don't know when that is."
FG: "It's next friday."
R: "I'm going home (yay for real excuses!) to support my mom in her triathalon."
FG: "Oh, that's really cool. My buddy just did one the other weekend."
R: "Good for him."
FG: "Well, I was going to invite you to our Frat Party, it's Catholic School Girls (you can hear me laugh because Carla said something about tha tin the boat the other day) and I was going to see you if guys wanted to come." (about this time Carla lost interest in her conversation and joined mine)
R: "NOpe, sorry, I'm going to go support my mom. She just did one for the Luekemia and Lymphoma Society, but thanks Anyway."
FG: "It was nice to meet you, adn thanks for helping us out!"
And we left.

These guys are getting progressivly less creepy, and younger. I am really getting amused. I may have to start theat journal I was talking about. Hehehe....

Some asian kida said:

AK: "Do you go to church?"
R: "No."
AK: "Do you believe in God?"
R: "No."
AK: "Are you interested in learning?"
R: "Not really."
AK: "'Cause I'm with a Christian group on campus and I was wonder if you wanted to join my bibal study group...."

Aparently, not only do creepy guys at Rite Aid want me, but the Campus Crusading asain boys as well. I'm all kinds of popular lately.

Those shoes are the best, your hot.

Wow. Rae was hit-on hard core at the Rite Aid. Eww. PLease, boys, never, ever, ever try and pick up a chick in a Rite Aid unless you know her well, that's just some serious creep going on. And he asked for my number. Girls, never, ever, ever give your number to a guy who tries to pick you up in a Rite Aid. Eww. He was looked like he was almost near if not in his 30's too. Creeper! Yet another strang pick-up storie to put down next to the "This is akward..." guy. Fantastic. If these occasions keep happening at this rate, I'll have to start keeping a journal expecially for them.

Oh my bike....

needs a name. I'm thinking it's gonna be something like Pepe or Jorge.... I know the orgininal name started with an F... but I can't remember it to save my life.

Oh, and he broke today. For no reason. in 90 degree heat. Thank goodness my parents were trying to bum a parking space offa me before the missed their 3rd ferry to Catalina for the Two Oh! That means I've been in the making for over 20 years people..... if you count my mom being pregnant as me being a something. Otherwise I still have 6 months. Then I'll be in age limbo, not a kid any longer yet not quite an adult....

Far too much driving and Damn Yankees

Yeasterday started bright and early yesterday, or should I say dark adn early, seeing as I was awake by 5am and out of bed by 6am because my body seems to think waking me up early on a weekend is hilarious! SO I managed to finished somethings I needed to mail out before John showed up anyways. My dad called me as I was on my way out the door to the Post Office. WE talked as he drove to one of his conventions and he demanded I talk to my brother because he apparently didn't get to play in the game they had the night before and was super upset about it and he wont listen to anyone else but me... which was news to me. But I called him anyway, he seemed perfectly fine. We talked forever, which is amazing because we dont ever talk in person or online. :P Go figure. But it was cool. We might take a cooking class together next summer! That would be hilarious.

Then John drove out to see me yesterday. I showed him my school, and my boat house. The Japanese Garden happens to be closed saturdays and sundays only, so we didn't get to feed the Koi. After I subjected him to all the photos on my computer for an hour or 2 we split for his aunts house, so I got to met them. Very differnt from the family I'm used to dealing with, but in a good way. The we went to Erik's house while he had to change and sat with Erik's family for a while, which was way entertaining. They were watching the Vintriliquest Comedian. All of them, together while making dinner. I was laughing to myself because I can never see my brother and I just doing things in the kitchen to help out with a meal, none-the-less for more than just ourselves and possibly our dad. Expecially while watching a comedian and enjoying ourselves. :P Funny, because I actually talked to my brother that morning about taking a "culinary" class next summer together. WE are super awesome. Hehehe... subjecting the world to our cooking collectivly is beyond commons ense... I feel sorry for the shumck who has to eat what we concoct. Heeheehee...

Then we went and met up with Chris and Alicia at Chris' house, where he dressed in his new cloths(not black!) and then had a fashion shoot with his family, both his sisters were entertaining because they were making him pose. Another things I simply cannot see my brother doing.... but there's no need really because my mom and I already shop for all his cloths. Then we all piled into Chris' car and sped off for the play, and boy was that a great car ride. Complete with missed Wendy's and John and I pointing everything out to each other... we entertain ourselves nicely. :P

Got to the play, which was great. It was called Damn Yankees, obviously about baseball. Comedy/love story/deal with the devil kinda deal. It was way cool. Way funny. I managed to point out that if Lola was only 173 years old, how could she have know Hercules... or Atilla the Hun... or whoever historical figure she said she suduced? I'm pretty good at catching inconsistencies in stories. What can I say, it's a gift, and bugs the crap out of John. :D So after we enjoyed the play, which we did because it was super cool, we left. Once we got in the car we talked about who everyone in there besides us were over 50 years old... which I had also pointed out during the intermission, but was now free to say it as loud as I wanted in the confines of Chris' car. We had lotsa laughs on the ride to the play and back, found out Alicia and I have a lot of similarities. While the boys had their geek talk we couldn't understand, we managed to talked some incoherent girl talk to confuse them as well. You, plus sign, Me, equal sign, Us! hehehehe... they just dont know. We also had a moment of liked-mindedness when she and I both said the same thing at the saem time, don't remember what it was, but we thought it was funny and they boys just didn't get it.

When we got back to Chris' house his fmaily shoved more cookies down our throats(not complaining...:) and then the boys were nice enough to wake up on of Chris' sleeping sisters. All the new families I've been meeting are way awesome, they never cease to make me giggle. Then John and I took the ride of doom, because it was around 12:30 when we left Chris' house for Long Beach, and I'd been up since 5. 19 hours of conciousness! \/\/007! We had some fun swerves on the way back to my appartment, with some entertaining music, at least to me. :) And the night wouldn't be complete without one of us hanging around unitl 2:30-3 in the morning before heading home, except that John's home was an hour away... a little farther than usual. I feel slightly bad because he's moving into his dorms today and probably didn't get to his place and asleep until 3:30-4:30, somewhere in there. A long say he has ahead of him today.... and he was awake before me too. Actually, he's probably on his way/already at his dorms now.

I had a really fun day yesterday, expecially after my errand running day and now my homework day(today!) Sometimes, school sucks. :/

geez. I'm like, way to emo for my face.

I dont know what happened... my day started out really good. Infact, theres nothing in my day, so far that I can tell, that I could classify as depressing, or sad, or stressful or anything. And yet here I find myself a litte of all of those, thinking negative thoughts for no apparent reason. Maybe geneology is kicking in. Boy, do i hate biology. But I dunno, I think I've actually had an acceptually good day. I did the stadium run(mmm.... my knees have been funny all day! I dont know if it's good funny or bad, guess we'll find out) and then I got to cox because Carla is out of town for a fmaily emergency(maybe it's sympathy emotions...?) which was great. Lauren was my stroke and we were in the Norris, and it was just like my first time on the water..... :D Then a heaping 5, count 'em 5 rode our bikes to school together. That was a lot of fun, you know it's the crew gals coming when you hear the screaming, lemme tell you. And then I fele liek I did well on my history quiz too, it was a lot easier than I thought, I've taken remarkably awesome notes so far and I feel like I did well.(hehehe... we all know how my test scores turn out if I 'feel' like I did well.... maybe I've finally caught on an am not oblivious to how I really do on tests...) Granted I started feeling crappy before that class... and then I headed off for Critical thinking (something that definitly causes depression) but I ended up feeling a little better in that class today... we've beent alking about art and darned if I didn't finally get what we were talking about. Art as arty is simply art. NOthing more, nothing less, not representation(re-presentation) no symbolism, just is. Like Popeye's catch phrase: "I am what I am and that's all that I am." Leave it to me to be confused about an grounded concept until it's explained as an abstract concept as a grounded concept. :/ I have no idea what I just wrote either.... But Ad Reinhart's Black canvases cleared up a lot for me, at leat in the ways of being. I think I want to try painting soon. I dont have any experience with oils, but maybe I can find some canvas that acrylics wont hate. I miss my art. :( Maybe thats what I need, a project.... hrrmmmm I have my parents 20th aniversary coming up along with some other stuff.... perhaps it's time I made a Jo-ann's and Michaels run... :)

"I like to ride my bicycle, I like to ride my bike...."

"BIcycle (race), BIcycle (race)!"
Oh I heart Queen. I heart them good.

My bicycle and I, on the other hand, had quite the disagreement this monring. I wanted to get off my bike while looking rather coordinated and cool, he, on the other hand, did not. The result? Some rather nasty looking raspberry-type bruises on my left thigh. They dont hurt, they just look real bad. I'm way smooth I know.... you know how they say you never forget how to ride a bike...? That may be true, but how to get offa one is a totally differnt story. In front of an entire street filled with people driving themselves to work...... I was actaully quite amused by the cliche-ness of it all. :p Leave it to me.....

I also learned today that I am definitly not a port, but a very distinctive starboard. There I shall stay, away from Kay and near Lauren Landers, whose way funnier than anyone else anyways. :p

Oh Boy

A bit frustrating in the boat today. NOt just for me, but I think everyone was dealing with it better than I could. I went out for the second time with the varsity boat today. I was going to ringe Kay's neck, she would not stop talking to me! Carla is going to talk to her baout it because basically that's the cox's job, and I'll say something to her about it too, because it was just throwing me off.

I decided to ride my bike to school today from my house, and boy, was that ever terrifying. No bike lanes near the downtown area, which is apparently where I live. I managed to wrangle a ride back from my bud from Brooks whose in my geo lab class. That was way awesome.

I also learned that I am currently unemployed. Remember me working at Cold Stone? Apparently it no longer exists. Good thing I found out before I went to tell them i was availiable to work again. Why they didn't tell me I dont know, but it saves me the greif of quitting. So far I have never had to resign from a job, either they assume I'm not coming back or they go out of business. Hmm. LIfe works in mysteriours ways.

Now the major dilema of having to find another job.... again.... there goes my fall plan. :P Welp, better get all over that newspaper and get myself out there.... perhaps I'll get sweet deal as a private lesson instructor... that's be awesome. we'll see.

AHHHH!

I'm in Varsity/Novice Limbo! Who am I?! What do I do!??!?

The days when I am home...

Oh boy! What a weekend I have had so far! Came home friday, was locked out of my house for 2 hours because I forgot my key in Long Beach..... smooth. Then I got to substitute for my mom at my brothers football game. I was on the feild taping. Those guys were out to toget; I was almost taken out 4 or 5 times! zi was amused. Then the Snapper broke his feemer... ick. I was interested though, there was an ambulance and paramedics and I was narrating to this Lady Collet I was taping with. I was super interested in the things they were doing. "OH! It's a spinal injury! They're not moving the head!" heeheehee.... leave it to the lifeguard. Then towards the later half of the evening I finally made it home and went over to John's house. Fixing a fire alarum with a kichen knife..... smart boy. :D His sister amuses me... she got a tatoo of her name (which is also mine) and they joked all night about how much she liked me dating him because she got a tatoo of my name on her arm. After Military Chris showed up and I passed out on him and his couch I headed home, only to remember that I didn't have a hosue key. :/ Spent the better half of 2am trying to wake my dad up. Woah! My dad endded up feeling bad. Go figure.

Saturday I spent the better half of my morning finishing that damn baby blanket. Met Kenna there, and we enjoyed our time not knowing anyone together. We endded up talking to Katie's (the pregnant girl from my work) parents and brother. They're cool people. It was awesome. We had fun. Didn't relize how much I missed that girl. Definitly something I need to work on, friendship with Kenna! Then my dad took me shopping in Miramesa, bought me lotsa spandex (woo!) Then I went over to John's again to hang with M.Chris and Nick. Those boys make me smile. Then Katie and Robin showed up and I was finally told what was happening so I wasn't confused anymore. Then they left, and the boys and I sat outside while I froze. Then I slept while we took Nick home and they got ice cream. Then I passed out again while we watched TV.... obviously I need more sleep. :P

and today.... I have yet another full day ahead of me. Storage, metting aunts, BBQ's, driving back to the LBC.... yay! Then sleep early and crew in the morning! I need to work on that whole homework thing to think about it......

Owch.

Grey's Anatomy is awesome, just to set the record straight. But onto other news.

I hurt. Erging for 20 minutes, and then running for 17 (I'm slow... what can I say. I wasn't last though!) Needless to say I am way, super sore. It's weird, everybody keeps asking me weather I'm a rower or a coxswain. I dont know what to tell them. I'm not really a rower yet...but I'm neither a coxswain anymore ....either. My grammar is not working with me right now. I'm all confused. :/ AHHHH!

Oh Boy

Welp, I rowed today. The rowing was great, the running was not. The being coddled and coxed was not.... I may have to banish my self to a double. :/ I have an erg test and a running test tomorrow. I need an MP3 player for me to be able to handle this whole running thing......

Anyways.... on my way home this weekend! I get to hang out with Kenna when she accompanies me to the Baby Shower... yay for her! The Katie and Robin and who ever John manages to wrangle into coming will have fun times in my pool, hopefully. Havn't talked to them in a few days... hoping they will still show up! :)

Running

Brian told me this morning that he wants me to start running with the girls in the mornings. Stevo told me that lightweights needs to be good runners. Seems to me that there is a lot of presure for me to both be good at and mildly like a thing which I have spent most of my pre-adult life avoiding. I have managed, wihtout fail, to avoid running since the eighth grade. They are going to break my streak, man! I swear... if only there was a pool at the boat house; I'd show'em! I'd smoke 'em! I'd be swimming 100's on the 1:15 I would! Okay, maybe not 1:15, but damn close. I'd be swimming at least a 1:25. Honest. :P

But we will see how it goes; mayhaps I will be the worst rower ever and a million girls will show up to be novice and I will cox still. Or maybe I'll be the best ever and win the gold in the singles event in the Olympics. :D

hrmm.

So... it looks like I'm going to be a rower. At least start trainging with the girls and learning to row. Stevo wants a lightweight 8, and with me, that makes 4 of us. So at least we'll have a lightweight 4. I dont know how I'm going to deal with this; on the one hand I'm not going to be sitting around doing nothing like the end of last semester. Ont he other hand I did spend all of last year training to be a coxswain only ro have that thrown out the window. That upsets me; but I'm excited to row. But I'm bothered by that fact that I'm going from queen bee to worker and not the other way around. It's just not right. There's really nothing much i can do and telling the coaches wont help because there's nothing they can do about it either. SO it's either row or sit out for me, and I dont like those options. I'm getting really tired of feeling like I should conform to everybody elses situation. And I dont even get a choice. Bitch.

Bleck

I really dont enjoy that ride from the LBC to SD or vice versa, it's super boring adn I'm always trying not to fall asleep. Besides that, i was fairly productive with the whole getting new tube for my bike nd making sure that beast worked properly. I should look real funny ridding that beast to school, seeing as I havn't ridden a bike for a good 6-8 years. I cleaned up a bit here in LB.. got the whole crew constitution written up... definitly not the homework I should be doing. :P OVER IT! I always manage. I'll bee cool tomorrow, I have a whole buncha time between my classes. Reminds me; I should get all that junk ready tonight so it'll be good to go tomorrow and I dont have to worry about whilst I'm stumbling through my appartment at all hours of the morning. I'll go do that now.

Labour Dabour!

Heeheeheee..... I less than 3 the Homestar Runner!

My weekedn has been interesting, and full. I managed to spend most of saturday driving through traffic from Long Beach to T-Town.... bleck. NO fun! The I got to go to the beach for pretty much the first time all summer...... I must be the worst beach bum ever. I throughly enjoyed myself though. And on Sunday, I was dragged to Ikea at 9 in the morning, only to find that what we went there for wasn't in stock... so I got a 99 cent breakfast full of stuff I wont eat. :P After that we wondered throughout the store and I got a whole bunch fo things I both need and could live without. Then my dad and I went to go get new phones.... my brothers the only one who got one; because he didn't have a line yet. The rest of us have to wait til next month, where my dad will get a new ohone, my mom will get what ever 1-for-2 deal my dad gets; and I'll get his hunk of junk which is 'better' than mine, for reasons unknown to me. Not exactly what he told me. I was slightly upset, but what upset me more was that he was being a total jerk. Granted, I know he is one and don't really care that he is, as long as it's not around me. So I spent the rest of the car irde setting up my brothers new phone with our numbers and some niffty backgrounds. :D Thanks to my good ol'will turner notebook and tetris game. Then we went to walmart and get me my yarn, and some more things I definitly do not need, then we went to Target to get some more things that were un-needed. On the way back(in the store too actually) Jefe called anda sked what I was up to 'cause he was in T-town, so he came by for a few minutes to say hi, which was way exciting. Then I organized all the crap I just bought and went over to Johns and watched the last episode of Who Wants to be a Superhero? and Feedback won (surprize, surprize!) But that was cool, Hung out there until my mom freaked out about where I was, until she found out I left her with a message to call me when I neeed to go because I didn't know when it was. So then I headed home, mand went to a BBQ at Andrei and Margarita's. We eat way to much food. I'm still kinda stuffed right now. I ate some ribs, which is amazing since I dont eat those, but it would have been way rude not to have some while I was there. I did, however, managed to get away with no corn, much to my relief. Andrei showed my brother and I some good lifeguard humor. (Just remember, there are only 2 kinds of people at the pool; Those who pee in it, and those who lie about peeing in it.) Then he showed us The Emo Song. Way amused. The my brother and I split, took a shower and then propmtly 'emo-ed' my bangs according to my brother, where he so graciously pointed out how emo I was that night. The I head over to John's to be truamatized by watching Mimic, which wasn't so bad as I thought. I guess watching it with someone else make sit a little bit better to handle. :P Then, as always, I managed to watch TV with him until 3 in the morning. STEVE IRWIN DIED! we were way saddened by that, but I'm glad it was an animal that finally got him; because if he died of old age or a plane crash or something, I'm pretty sure everyone would feel cheated. But that was fun. Hanging with John is always good times. :) But now I have to get ready to go back to school...again. Grab some more clean cloths, more sheets, more crud from the various stores I bothered yesterday... and crew starts tomorrow! I am way excited for that! yay!

hey!

I know it's obvious, but I changed the layout. Comments are appriciated. :)

Friday

My first week back at school is officially over. Although my classes look like they are going to be challenging; I am way excited to be learning the things I'll be learning. I'm off on the right foot for note-taking too! My 4.5 day weekend started yesterday when my last class got out at 12:15. Today I plan on cleaning the appt, becaus eit's pretty much never going to be clean. I need to get a swiffer, or broom and pan; and a mop. We have an ant problem, so I should probably go get some raid too. :( I dont like killing things no matter what they are. I need to get the rest of my books today, and I managed to save around $180 by buying my book offa Amazon and Adia's. A few things I can't get anywhere else: my geology lab workbook(it's the special 'CSULB' edition) and my sack of rocks. That's right; I need a sack of rocks for my class. How much did it cost you say? $50. Tax on that is $4.13; I know because I spent $54.13 on a sack of rocks. And let me tell you, these rocks are not worth $50 dollars. I'm also going to suck it up and buy my other geology book at the Book Store because I need it this weekend to do home work. :/ It'll be my most expensive book at $70! I think this semester I have a total of 13 books and a sack of rocks I have had to get for this semester. Oh the price of learning. :P

Over all, I am way happy to be back in the LBC! There are a few things I miss (you know who you are!) but then there are things I am extremly grateful to be away form. (some time offa work for one....) And my little friend from the other day seems to have scurried off for the time being (and no, she's not an actual person. I do appriciate the effort from those who cared though!) adn so today should be rather enjoyable. My roommate has gone home for the weekend, so the place is all mine! There's a birthday tonight which should be fun, and then a crew meeting tomorrow which I am way excited for! (Can't wait to see those gals!) And then I'll figure out what to do from there. Four day weekend here I come!

mr. bland

that's how I feel now. I think an old friend is visiting today, and I havn't seen her since Pirates came out. At least I haven't noticed anyways. Most of the time I know exactly why she's here, I have a rought idea, but she shouldn't be causing me to feel this mundain and boring. But I guess it's not really mundain, more of lethargy and complacency. It's the one big thing I dont like about me, complacent. But when I'm not people hate me and I dont handle that well; at least not from certain people. She's probably just here to remind me that yes, I'm back at school, and yes, it's going to be the same as last time and yes, your really on your own and your not going to take advantage of it. I generally dislike her as a rule, but she keeps me thinking. Thinking aboutn life and about where I am in it. She causes unrest, and displacement and confusion andbewilderment, but I dont know what I'd do without her. Maybe one day I'll have to get seen because of her, but I'm trying my hardest not too. I dont want to be one of them, I want to be stronger than that. I'm a strong person, but sometimes I wonder if I'm tricking myself into thinking things like this. But then I wonder if I lie to myself, and if I do lie to myself how can I know what I trully feel or who I trully am? Then I wonder if I can trust my own judgement; it has failed me in the past; not often, but recent. Maybe I've lost my touch. Maybe it's because I'm losing all the magic from when I was young. I dont want to stop believeing, because when I do I know it wont ever happen. I dont know how to tell myself to believe when I cna't even belive in myself. I dont like answering that question counselours always ask, where will you be in 5, 10, 20 years? Not because I have a bad imaination, but because I canread reality too well and I really can see where I'll be in that time. And I'm afraid of who I'll be. That's why I run away. I can't handle that fact that that's what I'm going to be in 5 years or 10 or 20. And it's not what I'll be doing, it's how I will be acting. Sometimes, liek now, I wish I knew how to meditate so I could jus ttune everything out. I wish there was a wya to temporarily remove my self from being, just to get a break. I'm finally on my break, and it's not helping my situation before I came out here. I ndont want to go back to cold stone, I dont want to see a counselour, I dont want to go home I dont want to be here. I need to be seated at the bottom of a pool, or the ocean, or a lake or river or whatever. I need to be somewhere else. I wish she would leave, I dont want her company anymore, and I fear that other's company wouldn't drive her away either. And the only reason I wont tell my mom is because i know that's where her next visit would be, but she might decide to stay and send her sister. What am I doing, where am I going, why am I not there yet? Maybe she'll help me find some answers. We'll see. I hope she leaves tomorrow.

(I know that must be rather confusing; but do not fear. It was nothing for you to understand. But for who ever can guess the friend I'm talking about will receive a batch of their choice of cookies or a cake or other baked good. :)

First day of class

Classical Archeology + no papers = awesome.
Geology + 120 students enrolled = interesting.
4 hours between classes + nothing to do = a trip to target.

My day has been there to say the least. Nothing really interesting happened. Talked to Carla, saw Chase and he followed me around for a while. I wonder when crew starts? Eh, I'm sure I'll get a myspace message.

Talking to JOhn about dreams, I really want to have one now; it's been a good month since my last one. I'll make sure to think about that when I go to sleep. I'm a dream freak. Add that to my list of quirks and random talents.

My last night

was last night. It was cool. Was punctual for my staff dinner, had some fun. Told the people at Corvette Diner that it was Megans birthday(it is on tuesday) and so they sang her happy birthday. We were amused. The we were an hour and a half late for boba, which was interesting. Robin and I got a farewell game of DDR, and I saw my girls one last time before I leave for a while. The John took me over to see the dogs he's sitting, and I passed out while watching cartoons. Overall it was a good night, I got to see all my firends and spend more time with my guy before I leave. It never ceases to amaze me that I finally work throught things right before I leave. I suppose it's good that I don't leave with bad feelings and memories, but it'd be nice to not have crap to deal with for a change. I guess that's why I go to Long Beach. :D Welp, I need to finihs my packing and head up to the LBC.

I MISS YOU ALREADY!

Back in the LBC

I am here, right now, in my new appartment, if only for the morning/afternoon until tomorrow. I hadn't been here more than 5 hours when I got a call not only from Kay(i left her a myspace message) but from the gal we think stole of things. Weird. (CHristine P...not Kay.) That was interesting. I also had an interesting conversation with not-John last night. Aparently CHris and ORbin hi-jacked his MSN. I figured out it was chris right away, but I'm not sure when it switched over to Robin. I went to the 99 cent store for some cleaning supplies yesterday. Got a whole buncha otha crap I probly don't need, like always. BUt I managed to go to Trader Joe's and Vons without being distracted. I went in got my milk, chips and dip and a salade(which I didn't eat)and skeedadled out of Traders JOe's, and likewise made a bee-line for the comet and cookie dough in Vons. I am amazing, I know. BUt here's the hard part: Helping Jennifer move all of her stuff in, perhaps doing some grocery shopping, then high tailing it back to SD in time to reserve a copy of the new Pokemon game with Robin and get ready for my staff dinner, with apparet boba-age afterwards. Good to know. This weekend should be fun, if not incredibly hectic. On the plus side, if my throat begins to act up again I'll know that Katie's diagnosis was correct.

End of Summer

Is quite nigh, actually. I put up a new lauout in memoriam of my bedroom, my glorious, wonderful bedroom! BUt I have a new place to decorate and break in come tomorrow.

Went to boba with Robin and Katie last night. I feel like theres something missing between us. I dont know what, but it bothers me a little. Maybe if we all get that group tatoo like we're planning......2.9 repeat! I am still was amused by that, we had entire too much delayed enteratinment from that.

I had some lady told me that her kid went from being pool-shy to a pool rat because of me. :D That way excites me. There's nothing better than hearing from a parent that a kid likes the way you teach, or has a totally attitude change for the better because of you. It's the best part about my job. That is why I teach kids to swim. And it pays good money. :p

I am getting my nails odne today... I'm thinking my feet need the most help right now, what with me running around like the hippy I am barefoot and all. I think I'll try and wrangle Carla into getting her nails done with me... I still don't think she's ever had a manicure..... gotta break the gal into the ways of a SoCal chica...

pssst!

(this is the possible tatoo i may get!)

Oh those boys down at the pool...

Geez, they sure know how to keep me feeling awkward. Today has been spent trying to get boys to stop hitting on me. It freaks me out becaus I still have to work with them. But here goes my attemp to tell the tale:

Part 1-
I was asked by Don, our managers superviser to wash the nasty vacuum bags, and so I did. I guess he asked RUssell to help me out because he came over to make fun of whta I was doing and aid as little as possible. I figured if he was there watching me we could at least have some real conversation that didn't include why I wont call Jeff or whatever so I asked him if he saw Snakes on A Plane yet.He said no and we continued on like that for a little while until he said to me (jokingly) that we should see it together. I told him that that was okay, I have plans for every until I go to LB. He continued by asking me several times when he could pick me up to which I replied 'never' and him saying I didn't answer his question. Then he tried asking me what my schedual was in Long Beach, and I told him it was my time to go up in the tower and he had to finish the last bag, which he managed to get all the dead skin on his leg. :p

Part 2-
I have recently decided to treat Rodrigo as a person so he wouldn't pretend to hit on me as much and asked him how he was. We were having a normal conversation until I mentioned that I may be going to the staff dinner(which it looks like I am) to which he asked if we could sit next to each other and 'smooch.' I said no, he asked why and I said because I didn't think that my boy friend would appricate it to which he was extatic about and becgan asking many questions,

Part 3-
Later, Katie and Rod and I were sitting in the office talking about baby names for Katies baby because she has none yet and only has 6 months left in her pregnancy. Some how it got turned aorund to the staff dinner, and then John. Rodrigo asked if he could 'intimidate him'(he was asking for my permission) to which I said he was welciome to try, but it probably wouldn't work very well since he's a good 5 inches taller than Rod. After the 'how old is he?' question and 'what's he like?" Rodrigo asked if he could jump John, and that if he could he's buy John a drink afterwards. "It will be like an initiation thing so he can date you." Rodrigo put it. I also told him good luck with that one. Then Katie made a comment about John getting me drunk to hold my hand, which was really entertaining. And that was my day.

MnM's

Make me wired. I dont know why, but I had a bag while sitting in the tower today, and did that make those 30 min excruciating. Kelly said I looked like a tweaker. Wow.

Today was rather boring besides my MnM incident, and that fact that apparently there is no reason to live any more for the boys at work now that I'm taken. Poor them.... I swear, all the boys happen at once.... it's really quite weird.

Sunday!

Was going to start out bad, because I had to be at work at 10am to teach a water fit class, ya'know, whatever, a few stragglers because they are super dedicated, right? No. Every, sigle person who takes that class on saturday was there. As I'm not starting the class on time, setting up and stuff, shooting myself in the face, my manager announces that every one must get out of the pool because there is a dead bunny. On any other occasion I would have been traumatized, but since I had to teach that class I was okay. That rabbit took one for the team!

But unfotunatly work was what was going to keep me away from our house that day, because it was an open house and we are not allowed to be there. So my dad took me on a shopping trip to Clantee. Every store we went to we could have gone to anywhere else, except for Kholes. I managed to get some bubbles, a mini-fan, a blouse and a 'The Flash' t-shirt. I am a winner.

Then John took me to go see 'Beauty and the Beast' that his friend was in. It was rather intersting, and I found out that Temecula is rather old. But I had fun, ever though I bothered John by picking the whole thing apart. It's just what I do; I totally am a theatre student, it's ridiculus.