who didn't see this coming? I'm actually quite surprized that it took me this long to get a new layout. really, i am. But here it is and it's powerful red and orange.... go me.
drama club yesterday was not so fun, Chrys was gone so i was in charge but Chad insisted he was co-vicepresident(He's unofficially vice-VICE president, which means I'm in charge before him. and then poage, and the Russell, and we just wouldn't have a meeting if that was the case) but whatever. It's not like there were 6+ people there anyway.
Saturday, April 17, 2004
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
ugg... no title for rae today. her head is not up for such thought.
merg. today was rather a good day i would say.... and i was even complementing myself on how much better I am doing right now that i was doing thsi time last year. If your wondering how I measure this, I set a few goals up for me,(I've noticed that when i do this i seem to meet them even if I dont try much). I'm doing a fair share better, if i do say so myself. Lets explain. I do not have the horrible social phobia anymore(i do, but I manage to work past it. I try and stike up a conversation with anyone I can now. I did that at my interveiw. I endded up wiaiting with this girl I met on my way out of the interveiw for 2 hours while she waited for he dad to pick her up. She was really nice, I kinda wish i got her e-mail.) I am also a bit more confident, and more people are letting me be a part of their groups(wether i'm forcing myself in, or they are letting me in I dont know, but I haev more people to talk to and i am not soly dependant on Chrys anymore.) I can make an ass out of myself again, that can be good or bad. Even though I had a boyfriend last year, I believe i haev progresed more. I still, however, probly wouldn't go to the prom if i was asked, I'm still iffy on the dressing up thing. A little uncofrtable for me.
And yet right now I feeel like crap, probly my empathy for my good friends because i was reading their xanga(i dislike xanga with a passion). But, ack, I dont know. It's something hard for me to explain. It's really weird, I haev a problem with vocabulary. merg... I'm bad at thsi... I think I need to write on paper how i feel. And I also think i'll update my dream journal 'cause I had one freak of a dream this morning.
merg. today was rather a good day i would say.... and i was even complementing myself on how much better I am doing right now that i was doing thsi time last year. If your wondering how I measure this, I set a few goals up for me,(I've noticed that when i do this i seem to meet them even if I dont try much). I'm doing a fair share better, if i do say so myself. Lets explain. I do not have the horrible social phobia anymore(i do, but I manage to work past it. I try and stike up a conversation with anyone I can now. I did that at my interveiw. I endded up wiaiting with this girl I met on my way out of the interveiw for 2 hours while she waited for he dad to pick her up. She was really nice, I kinda wish i got her e-mail.) I am also a bit more confident, and more people are letting me be a part of their groups(wether i'm forcing myself in, or they are letting me in I dont know, but I haev more people to talk to and i am not soly dependant on Chrys anymore.) I can make an ass out of myself again, that can be good or bad. Even though I had a boyfriend last year, I believe i haev progresed more. I still, however, probly wouldn't go to the prom if i was asked, I'm still iffy on the dressing up thing. A little uncofrtable for me.
And yet right now I feeel like crap, probly my empathy for my good friends because i was reading their xanga(i dislike xanga with a passion). But, ack, I dont know. It's something hard for me to explain. It's really weird, I haev a problem with vocabulary. merg... I'm bad at thsi... I think I need to write on paper how i feel. And I also think i'll update my dream journal 'cause I had one freak of a dream this morning.
Sunday, April 11, 2004
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