rae does not get sick.

but when she does, it's alwasy whats not in season and never gets it bad enough. 0.0 yeah, nose all crappy, and my throats like a wash board. not a fun thing.

anyway... i'm gonna say this in advance so people dotn think i've forgotten what i have here. i have no interests on the internet anymore. so i only am on for all of a half hour. and i usually dont have junk to blog. so thats a heads up.

in other news: see you next year!!!

saphhire!

yes, i have been playing pokemon saphire non-stop since x-mas..... adn i ran out of batteries!T.T but my daddy's getting me some more....^^

polo today was great... the racking cough i have was not so much. i really have nothing to say. i have some home-y work to get done, but moe than likly wont until friday.

oh yeah.....

and the most random thing, my mom got me a prayer candle of saint michael. 0.o it was amusing. it was a gag gift, and it made me happy.^^

ah... x-mas.

so, yeah. i'm doing whateverybody is or has done alreasdy, and that is list what i got. woot. here i go:
. ICO(ps2 game..... i love it, it involves thinking.^^)
. Swim Bag(bigger and better!)
. Pirates fleece set from bopgothic(darn you chrsy!!!!!!)(it includes a beanie, scarf and gloves!)
. "Kiss Me, I'm a Pirate" shirt
. new jeans with ugy belt, but rockin' jeans
. awsome sliky pajama bottoms and a cute tank top-y thing.
. tank top i wanted from old nacy
. 7 pack of underware from old navy!
. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
. jewelery box
. Digimon videogame
. Pokemon Saphire!!!!!!!
. A Sewing Machine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
. Chinese ghost Story
. Complete Works of shakespear(yes, i am a nerd!)
. coutless other things that i dont really care about... like cany.
. gift certificate to borders
. and to the warhouse(different people)
. Outkast CD
. hair dye
. lots of candy...............


some other stuff i can't remember.^^ i am happy with my load.^^ very happy.

on a tangent...

we have all established that robin needs to be a gay man.. rae now wants to be one. I would make a great gay man! except i might be a little masculin. i sould so be a gay man... i would be so cute!

winter is not a season for rae's back

yep, my back hates me.. but we went into so many stores with massagers it's okay.^^

first off, before i go into my day, i Just have to say i saw the cutest couple today. it was two guys and they were holding hands(awwwww!) One was tall and had brown hair, and the other was about half a foot shorter and had dirty blond hair, and he was so hot!(keep in mind this is coming from a girl who does not say what she thinks of the looks of guys, ever) He was by far(okay, not so much. i can name a few who are close) the cutest boy i have ever seen. believe me, i dont see many cute boy's, cute guys yes, but boys no. anyway onto my day!:

i got up and went shopping with my brother for my dad and mom. got my mommy reflexology gloves, got my dad a mug. got my dad to make x-mas presents out of, leather twine, got myself some beadlies. went driving on the freeway while it was raining for the first time without my mom!!!! got gas for the first time ever!!!!!! It was awsome, i made my brother go pay the guy, and then i went to go pump the tihng, and it was being retared, and me never having done it before assumed it was my fault, but it turns out the thing was defective and the dude came out to do it for us!!!! I was very happy.^^

then went to polo had a tri-athalong thing. i didn't win, eh. got a 1:11 on my 100 free. good stuff. Came home, played pokemon......(w00t!) ate dinner... then went shopping wiht my mom. got my brother a shirt. found some really good smelling stuff in The Body Shop, olive body butter. ah, so good. also found somre really good cologne in brooks brothers.. didn't get it though, too bad. then went to sports athorety, some guy asked ot borrow me because i was about the same size as his sister, i was flatered i could help. a few minutes later my mom said he was trying to pic me up. ew. then she also pointed out he was looking at the sweaters before we walked in. i was still kinda creeped out. more so by my mom than the guy. found out that upright workout benches are good for posture and back pain. bought my dad some weights. good times......

!!!!

i- so dont know what to get fopr my family. my mom is probly getting a fondu kit. lucky her.

so, at the polo party, we watched "The Sweetest Thing", which was nto so sweet. But I thought it was funny. we made coach watch the Penis song, "Your Too Big To Fit in Here", it made me smile. it was awsome. i'm off to watch homestar runner, and gaia!!! w00t,w00t.

woo! play over!!!

yes, yes it is.^^ but there was no chrys to watch me...... i gues she was sick sll day. she wasn't at school for the crappy x-mas party. but stacy was there! that was happy for me. Kenna and i went and saw her choir thing at her school some months ago..... and she came and saw me! she also thanked me for keeping in touch with her.^^ She's really nice, i'm glad we know her.

Later, when i was walking with becky to my car(i was following her to Kelli's house) we (tomnas, and andrew schewitzer, and katie..... i'm not sure of her ast name. i played polo with her last weekend. she's nice.) were discussing butt slap/grabbing and demonstrating on others. tomas decided to demonstrate the 'slap and grab' on me. owch. not only did he do it once, nor twice, but quite a few times. i think he liked it, ew. But i like the residential hobbit. He showed me his new aligator jacket, it was kick ass.

Ohh, earlier that day i had had 3 parties in a row(2 of which i dind't know about until they happened.) and at Math Nicole decided that I had a really big ass, and that me and Robin could be black. It was pain. But we got food, after being yelled at because we didn't bring any, but yelled right back because they didn't tell us. same happened with 5th period. but not lunch, that was just bad junk. really, really bad junk. but there wasa poague and a michelle so it was okay. oh, and a chad. chad has really mellowed out and makes me happy.^^

i had really bad bakc-ach yesterday after polo and right before the play, so i poped 2 neproxin right off to prevent it, didn't really help to much. then mishi poped my back and it felt better real quick.^^ thanks michelle!!!!!

sorry i ran uinto random and unordererd tangents.......... but it was good.

oh, and at the polo party, it was fun.my gift went over real well. it was just a really big yankee candle. and everyone liked it. i got $10 to blockbuster, so i'm good. yay me.

!!!

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but whips and chains excite me
so throw me down and tie me up,
and show me that you like me.

i found this on a gaia forum. it makes me smile. ^^

winter break is almost here!!! I really need the reasponsibility break.... aurgh. Anyway, i took my brother to batting practice today. fun stuff. also gave my mom the wrong directioons to the parent meeting for polo....hmmmm.>> robin got me smelly stuff today from victorias secret. i'm not sure if i like because i usually dont, but i think i just might..... thank you robin.^^

winter break is almosst here!!!!

performance today was great... Loc was really, really off. So to speed up the play, Julio and i skipped half of our scene!^^ Aparently, even though i was mumbling, i did really well. who knew? i am so looking ofrward to not being forced to do work for all of a day or two... it will be very happy for me.

QE!

woo! Queer eye id tonight! Yeehaw-hur! (if you can't tell, i love this show. and it's their x-mas special tonight!!!!!!!!)

otherwise my day was dull... except i got my present from deanna which i love! and i got a ride home from cary in her cool car with multiple shoe boxes.... i wasn't quite sure why, but i didn't realy care to much either.and robin is a very bad direction giver(note: i said giver, as in actually saying them out loud.)

i'm now off to writh in my bordom because there is nothing for me to do online anymore!!!! I need a new RPG.....

errrggg.

my tummie's queezy. -_-

today was .... i dunno. interesting is what i'm compelled to say, but thats not what describes it i think. i've realized how little people read my blog.^^ they tend to do it in spurts, mostly in times of strife(woo! hard words!) and bordom. HEY!!! if you read my blog, let me know. I tend to be more open and pissy if i know others aren't reading.^^ I think I might get a counter again... just to see.....

anyways, on to my day. went to polo practice at 6:00. was kinda nice to finally get there.^^ gave people their presents, got a better reasponse than i thought i would. aparently i did a good job. 0.o who knew. i'm really tired. ooh! and i got ot drive to and from school today.^^ i was very happy.^^

i'm too lazy to blog any more... my heads not working. and i want to watch tv and play my pokemon game becaseu i haven't been able to latly..

yay saddam!

he was found today. And I'm, kinda indifferent. what a surprize. I kinda feel bad for the guy, but thats jsut me. i dont usually holf things against people for too long. eh.

I think I've finally let go(or given up, but i dont like losing) on some people who really needed to not been let go. I feel kinda sad, but i can't do anything for them. I honestly dont like them to feel the way they feel but i've come to accept that they would rather feel hopeless than anythinge lse because their afraid of what other things feel like. (by the way, this ir more than just one or two people, it's actually quite a few. so no commenting on how i dont understand, because you dont know and neither do i and we should leave it at that.)

i hate the way that they use bodily harm to let their frustrations out and take the pain away by physically feeling it. i suppose by cutting themselves it like actually opening an emotional wound and it heals as the cut itself does, but i dont thinkt hat why they do it and how they use it. but i can't say I'm totally against it and stuff, that would be quite hypocritical of myself. I mean, come on, I have 7 peircings. Thats is not just a coquincidense. There is a reaosn I have chossen peircings and not tatoos or cutting or branding; I am very fixated(saddly to say) about my physical appearance. I am not rpoud of it, bt if i wasn't so worried about what other people thought about me and what I'll look like when I'm 66. If that wasn't the issue, I'd be full of crap from head to toe. And anyways, these peircings are like a badge of honor to me, I have altered my body but i can remove them at any time and it will be like it was never there.

I also think scars tell a story, and marking yourself up is like lying on your autobiography. When your older and people ask you where you got a certain scar from your not gonna say, "Oh, i was severly deopressed and decided to cut myself." Even if you have come to terms with it, most people will look weirdly at you if you said that to them so you'll probly make up a story, like you got mrked up rolling down a cliff while you were snowboarding, or got pumulledin the rockes while surfing, or crashed into some thorny bushes while skating and such. But i dont know, you might tell them the truth. i'm not you so I can decide.

To be honest, I probly have about as many scars as you guys do, although I didn't intentionally inflict them upon myself. I was a bad little girl. From the 3rd grade until the end of middle school i had so manyu injuries it was ridiculus. Skinned my entire knee-cap early third, broke my arm late third, strained my middle fingure early 4th, broke my big toe late 5th, borke both pinky toes numerous time between 6th and 7th, and strained my index fingure in 8th. Oh, and cut up my hand playing racket bal in 8th. I have so many random chicken pox scars too. I was too old to wear the oven mitts, so i was left to my own devices.^^

I dont know where I'm going with this anymore, so i'm going to stop, but i hope you now know that i understand what it is you do. i know i dont have the same problems, but it's only because i've blocked my delf off from them because of family illnesses.(learning disorders, mental breakdowns, it's quite fun to live in a family full of manic deprssives!)

oh, by the way, nothings hopeless uness you let it be. as long as your my friend, I wont let you be hopeless unless you refuse to let me. It's your choice. please tell how you feel, but dont do it by telling me i'm wronge. opinions are never wronge.

survey-thingy!

found it in robins LJ and now what people to fill it out for me, so kenna, fred, and anybody else who has ever been here fillit out!!!!!!!

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I loveable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?

water polo... how i love thee.....

so, i woke up on saturday only to have my mom ask me to play imn the J.V. tournament. and i did, and i drove by myself all the way out to el capitan!^^ i was happy. We got 5th. darn. Rae played the entire time and way whole set! wooh! But rae got an elbow to the eye(these j.v.j players have no idea about the horrors of varsity, or worse, club.) so rae got a shiner, and although it hasn't gotten worse, the smelling and pain hasn't gone down. eek. we'll see. friends are getting their presents tomorrow!!!! i made all except half of two of them, i am proud.

hoo boy was i sick

and i was, i got up at 5:30 to swim for 45 minutes.>.< i endded up being quite sick afterwards... urg.

then there was drama at drama! (what a surprize). Ms. Howell had some problems with my lines.... so she took me aside and made me cry.(not her fault, i was already on the brink of tears from frustration, but she told me to just cry. it was weird) and then we went back to lines.. which didn't work like she wnated. but Cary helped when she left and i did better. cary rocks. The we did a speed through, owch. but it finished. costumes are not good. i might end up wearing keleas dress from hamlet, not bad but hurtful. it's at least pretty.^^ there will be much sewing and fixing tomorrow. then we open.

errg.

oy, my days are just worse and worse everyday. -.- the costumes are jsut doing bad... i dont know what to do, and nobody else knows better. how sad. it hurts, it hurts bad. but it'll be done soon. i so had stuff i wanted to blog... but it's so gone now. mebbe i'll remember later. but polo makes me cry, because i am not there. T.T

le sigh

eh, i'm so tired. it makes me sad, i really miss polo and i feel i'm excluding myself, and it's not a good feeling.

so, this kinda bugs me. a friend or person might be having problems(i'm not talking about anyone, this is just something i've been contemplatling about some of us for a while), they seek counsel fromt heir friends, or their friends volutarily try to help them out. thye may or may not choose to take this advice to heart, depending on it's realativity or usefulness. usually, doubtless of wheather or not the knowledge is helpful, counsel from another being, usually someone they dont know or dont know well, is taken more seriously. to me, it makes more sense to listen to xomeone you can trust. i know it's not to hear things from people who are biased, but on very important matter i think it is more beneficial to listen to your friends more than strangers. this may just be me. but it kind of irks me, i have given some people some really good cousel, but they completly ignor it because the believe i dont "understand" what they're going through because i've never. which is a bunch of bullshit. i can sympathize and understand with the best of them regardless of weather i've been through the actual event myself. in most cases i have, but being very secluded, i dont let this be common knnowledge. so these people tell me that i have no idea what i'm talking about because i've never felt it and i have. it's a real pisser. Most people only listen to what they want to hear, and so ignore me. Others dont want to liten to what they want to hear and want the opposit. but whatever i seem to give these people as adviced, it is not taken serioisly. however, if said by another peoson, either more "elevated" in status, or a complete stranger, the same opinion is taken more seriously.

it really bothers me that people think i live in another world, because i dont. just because i dont suffer from parental abuse doesn't mean i can't sympathize with you because of it. i've never had ssex with someone, but that doesn't mean i wont understand the bond between those two persons. and excetera. it really, really makes me miffed. really. but whatever, i guess it doesn't matter to people what comes out of my mouth because it's not intellegent. i understand that, i try really hard to study, and do my best in life but always i'm done up by someone who is far less qualified or dumb or annoying or weaker or "more experienced" or less experianced and so on and so forth. i dont understand it, is there something about me that says "i can't unnderstand no matter what you say?"

i admit i have few problems, you want to know why? it's not because i have such a "privlegded" life, i live in poverty up until a few years ago. i've moved around more than most navy brats ever do in a lifetime. i have more mental problems and addictions and physical deformities running in my family than most 3 people can add up too. i dont like to tell people because i dont want that attention. but why do i seem to be full of few prblems? firstly, i dont invovle people unless it's something i think they can help me with. secondly, i deal with it, i dont jsut let it hang above me like some huge, hanging thing. honestly. some of you are gonna says "hey, you dont know, it's not that easy." damn straight it's not. but i suck it up and i deal with it. it's not an easy thing, but nothing is that easy. i've also developed a system for dealing with things. it helps me to analyz everything, and break it down, and then it doesn't seem so bad. and if it still seems that bad, then i do something about it. i dont have a perfect life like everyone around me seems to think, the is also a real pantiy buncher. i hate it, and i hate the people who assume so. i also hate people who try to make their problems seem as bad as mine, or whoever is in a crisis.

i have a lot more things i can rant and rave about here if i wanted to, but i have decided that i dont need to right now. it will not be beneficial to me.this may upset or not upset a few people and i dont really care because this is how i feel and how isee things from my point of veiw. i just wish for 5 minutes someone could think like i do, because i honestly dont think many people do, but then i am glad because thats how i keep my sanity is knowing that nobody thinks like me.

i've been thinking of that peom chrys read to me yesterday, and what i said about it. After she read it Chrys told me it was a man who was "Mr. Perfect" and then killed himself and her question was "why did he do it?" But i dont think the peom is about a perfect person at all. I think it was about a person who had the illusion about him that he was perfect, everyone about him thought so, but he wanted to prove he was and therefore killed himself. Or it could be about someone who was just different and it was his way of proving so. eh, something to think about.

speed throughs, mmmmm.

yeah. had the asvap, that was intersting. meh. then we had a speed through. meh. i'm too tired to think.. or write. bleh.

wow

okay, so my face literally hurts right now, dont know why. the pain.

asvap tomorrow! now the military will never give up til i'm dead or a marine!(only the coast guard for me!) hahahaha... fun stuff.

rehersal was painful tonight. we've never really "worked" on our lines, but there was ms. howell, so we ha too. it was interesting, because I had never learned my lines by myself before, and so when i learneed them with the person i was doing the scene with, we're discover our characters together, and it's be all good. But i learned them by myself, so they were just lines. but we finally got it together... after julio tried to sever my hand from my arm. i was amused when he squirmed when i had to rub his leg. otherwise... pretty normal day.

until i got home! aparently,the athletic director doesn't want me to play polo unless i'm "dedicated". bastard, i have to choose between polo and drama. my answer? polo, of course, they will not take that away from me, i wont let them. it pisse me off so much, i meant, hell, the play opens next week. it's just plain jack-assery. aurgg! oh well, i'm dealing with it all tomorrow with the ever-so-pleasant Mrs. mcDonald. She likes me, so it'll work out.

owch, my squidle-sqooch.

stuff hurts, but nothing doesn't! i am so boring today, my face hurts. kenna and I decided to play questions, we both failed miserably. then we decied that i am now going to start saying savy, and she sabes. go us, otherwise, today was really boring. ha. i win.

i am so friggin beat!

but before i delve into that uncharted playground, lret me first state that i got my first x-mas present today, and it rocked. it rocked like a pirate. it makes me happy.^^ It's a manga called "Gunslinger Girl", which, from the title wouldn't soud like something i would like. but firstly the art is really pretty. and the story is really good, and i really enjoyed it. this is my informal thank you card to you, chris, for getting me this awsome present.^^ you'll eventually get a real one, after x-mas break.

okay, i am so un-able to carry on right now. costumes are a mess, yet slowly coming together. play, again, a mess and yet slowly coming together. polo, a tragety in itself, and not so much of the coming together. that makes me sad. school, a mess, and slowly falling apart. (w00t! except not)honestly, i am getting all my homework during winter break done the first two days i have. i cannot deal with any more of this crap, i need a break and god-damnit i'm gonna get it.

oh, and for any who care, i have a wish list up here. lokk at it if your confused, mebbe it will help. the only two guys i'm worrying about for x-mas are shane and chris, both are getting pies, and i'll probly buy and/or make chris something else..... roy can wait until after break for me to go out and get him something. everybody who is male is just getting cookies! whoo~

T-T

the sig fred made me!!! it's so awsome!!!(if it doesn't work, i'll fix it.)

urg, made dad came ontp my computer and shut down all my windows, bastard. meh.

last night i spent the night at kenna's with robin and becky. zack flashed robinand i his pre-pubecent(according to robins) balls, and we was scared. it hurt my face. later we were looking at his maxims... they were really funny. i made a pretty picture at kennas house. it made me smile.^^

dia del pavo and the cousins

i am really pissed right now, i cant find the card with the number to the palce i need to call for my pay check and i cant find the picture i drew for whitney. errg. i'm really irked right now. bleh.

anyway.. the cousins were fun. we shared a bed, interesting. they sleep in really late. really, really, late. like so late, i was the only onew to go to breakfast with my aunt at 9:30 in the morning. we went to a museum, that was pretty awsome. and then the beachy part of the cove. i was happy. sam has some major issues though. -.- urrrg, oh well. i blame it on her not taking her meds. i do. i had so much to post... but now it's all kinda gone. >> eh, if i are i remember sonner or later.

moo!

my eyes are in pain, and some random person just commented on my dream blog, weird.

today turned out better than i thought. it started out really stupid with my brother yelling at me fr being nice to people. bleh. school was okay..... drew a pretty picture for whitney last night, and she wasn't at school. loser. had a very interesting talk with robin at math(and it continued throughout the day). we talked about gay people, and the fab 5, and how we need a flaming gay friend, and so forth. then we talked a litte how discovered that matt b. looks like justin timberlake(long story, long ago) and how when people first met matt, or thomas, thye thought they were gay. but when they meet our other gay friend, they think he's straight. haha, irony! then we talked about new years last year for robin and nicole... good times...

at lunch i talked with fred for while(actually carried a conversation for a while!) that rocked.... then went to 5th where all costumey stuff was done. then 6th rolled around and the costumey stuff was fixed! whoo! and then i found out i could go to polo! so i did! that made me happy. then i went to boba with becky and robin and slow, and becky used robins shower, we were smiling. then we got boba, then i cam home and got spicy chicken! and watched survivor, and it was all good. cousins a coming in tomorrah, and all is spiffy! w00t!

errg

i am so beat, and it's only monday. T.T Honestly, i dont know how anything's going to be together in time for anything... costumes are a mess(my dress doesn't fit... which means robins probly wont.....) and it makes my face hurt. i dont have time/energy for homework, or polo, and i just want this to end!>< I want it to be january right now and have everything done with. i'm so sick of it.

eh, but it'll pass. i just need to get my act back together(those damn slipping grades!) i dont have time to do what i want any more(not to mention inspiration) to draw, write html, or anything. it make sme hurtt. but i'll soon fix that! you'll see!

wow

okay, so ive been watching One Hit Wonders na VH1 for the past few hours(avoiding work! w00t!) and This i've noticed. Juntin Timberlake said something on VH1, and I noticefd that he looked like Jai from the Fab 5, whome I've long sinced recognized as having very similar facial features of Matt B. o.o creppy. And this just isn't the oh, they kinda look like each other, it's like: "Wow! He looks exactly like him!" Un-nerving.

Everybody Pokemon

I heard a pokemon polka, and it burned. it burned real bad. And for those who dont know, I have been a large poke-fanatic for years. since early 6th grade to be exact. And no, I liked it before it was popular so you can kiss my fluffy pink ass. *le sigh* I miss those days.. where my biggest problem was how i was gonna get to see the next episod of sailor moon or pokemon(yes... i'm a senshi-holic too. it's very sad, but true.) Oi.. those were the days.. but they're gone and pokemon is tainted. I mean, really, no more Misty? Thats just not right, not right at all. That burns even more.

haha

i love the way nobody uses anybodies commenting systems now, like we're all boring or something. i'm ammused. in a lil pain, but amused. And Robin is very awsome to be around, because she takes everything i say in the right direction... unlike some other persons. poo on them. and my eyes burn, and my face hurts, yay for polo! i think i'm gonna go print stuff out, finish watching suvivor, and make more x-mas presents!

neh.

can't go to polo tomorrow. bleh. can't go to polo for 2 and a half weeks. errgg. i'm already behind, fuck. oh well.. i screwed my self....meh. no asprin... sucks royally. forgot what i was gonna post, ain't it great folks?

some guy in 5th period said he thought my sweater(or, sweat shirt, as he put it) was cute. it was nice to get a compliment from someone who isn't hitting on me or is required to say something liek that. and it wasn't prompted to boot, i was very happy for a while. yay me. my costumes almost done, whoo. cousins a coming next week, whoo. happiness with come with thanksgiving. but if sams a bitch, she can wallow by herself and maya and myself will have fun.

owwie.

my back really hurts. really really. but i had polo, so it's all good. we got done with rehersal half an hour early!^^ but i still dont have lines.... damn. oh well. i'm really tired... and blowing off hiomework for the internet! go me.... bleh. too tired top say much.

i dont know what to make of today

so there was many pluses, and minuses to the day.

woke up, didn't know lines, panicked and was all unhappy. test in hsitory, didn't know about, didn't study for, didn't care like normal. i'll survive. went to spanish, another surprise test, except by taking it i got an automatic A(it was a practice AP test! w00t!) went to english to study lines the durancy of reading period... didn't make much progress. eh. did stuff i didn't care about. went to math. deanna invited me into her study group! no more D's on history tests!^^ went to the monday club, get voted secretary, dont know how, but did. yay me i suppose. there were free donuts, made me quite a bit more happy. watched really bad(and consiquencially good0 70's/60's/50's movie. Lil' Pet Shop of Horrors. Space Balls next? Got the costume room all clean.. smelt like vingegar... which meant it was very clean. attempted to lean lines with Julio 6th period... he was painful. Went for workout with polo... had to leave after the first set. T.T got maht done in drama. Did good at my blocking. Had to kiss Loc on the cheeck, didn't happen, but will soon. Had to listen to Julio complain about how much i weighed.(somewhere in the 115-120 area) Then about having to kiss me, then about having to kiss me on the cheek. Cary did both, had a tough time with the cheekk thing though, her face was to far from mine.(but she picked me up no problem) he finally picked me up and kissed me, not so fun. never thought I'd hear him say "I miss Chrissy." but he did, go figure. Got home, gave mom schedula who pointed out that polo would not be good this year(even though i busted my butt over summer for this) I'm missing a third of the seson... my startuing position is gone, and so is my back-upness of whole d. T.T I'm really afraid Whitney(even though i love her!) or Brianne(whome i despise) will take my place...... I'm gonna work my butt off juggling these two though. I will defete drama and polo! ANd then get a good part in The Scottish play too!

errggg...

so.. another emty weekend to prelude a wonderful week of juggling i'm going to have to do. It's going to make my head spin, face hurt, and eyes cry. honestly, i dont know how i'm gonna do it..... we'll see tomorrow.

do not have my lines memorized yet... 'sposed to have them down by 6th tomorrow. not happening. hopefull between now and then i'll have at least some down and can blame the rest on not knowing my cues. cross my fingures.

really looking forward to polo... which i'm not gonna be able to do. T.T I might get some of the on land work, but i'm never gonna get to the pool. *sigh* ...... i'll have to live with a horrible part in a horrible play.... maybe i'll be able to get that dress of mine together though, i would be very happy with that. very.

i'm also loving the way nobody understands me anymore. robin and chrys do... but i dont have issues with them. the people whome i have issues with dont understand a word i say, or twist them around to their own liking, and it makes me sick and sad. i'm not angry, or pissed, even most of the time i say so, it's restating something i felt about something in partiular, but not my day/life. and they dont understand my advice or oppinions....so i'll probly just stop, and when they ask, to bad for them. i'm tired of being critiszed for not understanding because what i say is not understood, it's ridiculous, and that does piss me off. i would elaborate, but i'm not quite sure how, and this is why i dont often talk about things, because i'm not confident i can back up my oppinions.

errg. -.-

had to go shopping with ms. howell today for fabrique..... arrgg. took 3 hours! at least it counts towards my teck hours..... w00t for that.

mrowgg. okay, the constution is almost complete and i will be offering copies to any and all who need it. yiou will be able to make personal amendments and all that jazz. but this is something i think everyone should understand, it is your blog, it is for you and you let others veiw it because you want them to know how you feel. if you didn't, you'd have a regular diary or journal, or would have it password protected. if people dont like what you write, tough luck it's not for them. it's for you. sdont write about it if you dont want peopelt o know. if your prone to not know, re-read what you had written before you publish to avoid this.

so, before publication of this constitution, i want suggestions and additions from other bloggers.

emergency blog!

yes.. an emergenc blog from what i ahev just been surfinh around on others and i need to get some things out int the open because i'm really getting ticked and pissed lately.

Firstly, i will make a blog constitution with suggestions of other people. This here is a rough draft:
1. Do not blog about a post from someone elses journal in your own. use their commenting system, thats why it's ther. if they dont have one or it's too long, e-mail them or aim them or pm them on a message board. it's very rude to put it in the open for everyone too see outside the so called persons blog.
2.Do not delete posts, thats why we make them. if the post bothers you so entirly much, delet it with out saying so. editing the post and them saying "sorry... i was a bit emotional.. never mind this." is not acceptable. you got a blog to spill out your emotion for others to read, and thats what you post them for.
3. Do not harrass someone about what they posted in their blog, it is personal to them, and it's none of your business if so claimed.
4. Do not mention blog posts outside the net. this means no talking about it to a none blog reader at school, work, etc. it's rude. There is an unsaid contract between blog readers. If not mentioned by the blogger, it's like it never happened.
5. If someone asks you to stop reading, or commenting on a subject or their journal, respect that. there's nothing worse than someone who wont go away. Honestly.
6. if there are certain rules and requirments you have for your own blog, have them typed and posted somewhere for all to notice. It's a pain in the ass if no one knows, and it can be hurtful.
7.No slandering, laughing(unless it's a joke) or teasing someone about one of their posts. Re enforcing number 3 here.
8. Do not use the commenting system as a way of having a convo. with someone other than the author of the blog. it's rude.

I will make a special area for these later, and I'm open for suggestions.

Secondly, i need to write some feeling i have down about certain people. I may or may not be using names here for special reasons.
I have been increasingly, and increasingly annoyed with a certain someone for asking really stupid questions, and i mean stupid. It's said there is no such thing as a stupid question, but i'll be damned if there's not stupid people. This so-named person asks the obvious, even. I have tried to help this person into creating answers for themselves(it is not always good to go through life always asking questions. you should never stop asking, but you should try to figure things out for yourself first.), by giving hints, and clues, but this doesn't seem to work because i get the smae blank stare ever time. But when they are told the answer, an empty light is turned on and they exclaim how obviously obvious the answer was. Although finding these answers are no great feat, they are just to lazy to put two and two together. And when I am annoyed with someone, I do no wan tot be around them, and it is like summer all over again. I can hardly stand it. I've been trying not to say anything to any one because i wasmn't sure why i was upset with this person, but because i think i understand why now i'm willing to blog about it so those who care and ahould know know. I will expand on this later, but i just hope this person feels how i feel and will improve, but if they are as oblivious as they try to act, i may not care.

I'm also going to be posting so very conroversial veiws on thoughts and experiences later because i think people need ot know how and why i think the way i do because i'm not jsut a happy lil person running around with a smile, most of the time i'm pissed or angry at something.

mmm.... functions.

Deana, Katherine and I got 98% on our group test, we so hit that junk.

Today was pretty boring... got yelled at by some punk gangster girls who didn't even sit where were were leaving from. Chad was not happy, so i was amused. Forgot about the water polo meeting because i left class early for club rush... which neither of my two clubs did.. thoughs losers. It's all good though. Coach found me after school and told me everything I needed to know anyway.. so i was happy. Except for the whole part where I'm missing polo because of the play I'm in as a charater i dont like in a play i detest. grrr.... I think I'll live. As soon as x-mas passes, all will be fine, except my snp gradde, which i'm working on.

struck the set today.. all gone. all costumes are put away, and the costume room is almost clean! ms. Howell want sot get us cleaning suppklie.. which will make us really happy.^.^ ANd i get to go shopping with her for faberic tomorrow. w00t. hopefully it will be at Yardage town where Angelina works so i dont have to be there by myself with her..... I really wish Angelina was helping us with costumes instead of Iris. She makes my face hurt with all her patterns and painful comments.

Went to the football game with my famnily... I figure if i was to make friends support my water polo, i must support them. So i went to go see Robin, she was really good and I'm jealous. And I'm sorry, but those outfits kick ass, they really do. I endded up leaving to go get sodas for my parents and their friends(my mom's way of making me find my friends) and saw shane who asked if i would go sit with them, which i did. I had fun, there was Deana, and Nicole and Slow and Jew and Russell and others whome i did and did not know. Kim was calling people she didn't know on shanes cell and made him do the same, which he didn't, and so i did, and i think i confsed them, but it was great. frezzing as hell though.(yay for oxymorons!)

oi!><

almost forgot, it will be made all okay today because of QE! Yay! They make everything alright...everything...

errg

welp, this weekend royally blowed. but what can i do? It was filled mostly with my back hurting, trying not to do my home work, and griping about not wanting to go driving alone. yeah, fun times. My new goal in life is to make crap fantastic.... we'll see how that turns out.

oh yeah, new layout. As you can tell, i'm neurotic, and change stuff quite frequently. But it's balanced with my laziness, so it's all good. You should see how often my room changes.^^ it bugs the crap out of my dad... and he deseves it. go me. lemme know what you think of the layout!

Rae is a very special child

she's going to be making up a random survey, and anyone who reads should copy and paste and do it themselves. keep in mind this is off the top of her head an completly random! it's a collection of lists n'shutch.

what makes rae sad:
.Peter Pan(the Movie
.Little Mermaid
.Poorly made Disney Movies(all the ones past 1998)
. People saying things are evil
.Ugly shoes, socks, shirts, skirts and/or pants
.Generally ugly things
.People bitching about things that need no bitching
.Bitching about things Rae already knows about, she does not need to be bitched at more than once, she hates it.
.Kenna being a dumbass
.Robin being a dumbass
.Shane/Chrys/Chad/everybody else being a dumbass
.Stupid People
.That's not Nicole, she's chill
.The phrase *insert word* is chill
.Not having a desk
.Ugly Duckling
.Clichè's

what makes rae happy:
.Pirates
.Cowboys
.Nerds(yay 80's!)
.80's
.Random catch phrases she come's up with. (mmm, *insert word here*, shamormening, etc)
.My dog Flip
.Having her license
.Not begging for rides.
. Remodeling her room
. Which hasn't happened yet
.but needs to badly
.silly storie that end differently than they should
. my survey that no one will take.

rae's favorties:
book: Myst Trilogy
anime: Orphen, anything by Ghibli
manga: Paradice Kiss
Movie: Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Evil Dead: Army of Darkness, Space Balls
T.V. show: Queer Eye forthe Straight Guy
color: right now specifically, green. stationary, variations of red.
food: mash potato's. good cheeze pizza, jamba juice/boba
object: dont got one, but i guess my random things that are hangin from my ceiling and walls
collection: my catalogues, i have to many. but i love them!^.^
emotion: that of not desiring to have to/want to/need to do anything; accomplishment
type of genre: action/fantasy/comedy/a story line that is not shallow
article of clothing: my blouses, only got 4 but i love them.
play: as of now, 12th night
philosophy: It doesn't matter how you do as long as you know what it is.
phobia(not being her own): Hipopotomostrousesquippedaliophobia- fear of long words

rae's hated's:
.When people say things are evil
.being bitched at more than once for one article/incident
.Hair(the LONG ones) on peoples cloths
.jello

unknown things you might find interesting about the rae:
. She write's, ALOT, but you'll never see what it is, even though it's only stories for books.
.She doens't draw as much as she should
.She hates jello
.has a hard time staying awake past 10:30
.has a superiority complex
.has an inferiority complex
.is in credibly obsecive-compulsive
.and neurotic
.oftens blanks out
.am smarter than i look
.act better than i let on
.sing better than i think

most:
feared: i..completly forgot. lets just say everything.
cherished: sketchbooks and notebooks
desired: new room. mine needs to die.
cared for: my dog? i dunno...
missed: amber c. and matt

bothered most by:
.stupid people
.amanda c.'s voice
.brianne
.ass holes
.people(over 13) who use language i think chhldren would use.(ie: tummy, belly-button, etc)

random physical features:
eye color: brown according to people, but i swear there's green in there. you only dont see it because i dont stare into the sun all day.
hair color: same as chad's? apparently.. it's really, really dark brown underneath
skin; it's crazy. my face is that of a red heads, and my body of that of an indian. i blame jeans.
birth marks: next to naval, inside elbow right, forearm right, and apparently behind my ear.
shoe size: 8
height: 5'3 1/2", goddamnit i better be as tall as my mom or some doctor is getting a peice of my mind.
weight: 115-120, fluxuates(should by at least 5 pounds a day)
bust: havn't got a clue. your guess is as good as roy's.
peircings: 7
where:nose, and 3 in each ear.

and now i'm done. that was fun, i got all the crap stored up in me out. have fun.^^

continue...

yeah, so i forgot this. I met Chad's best friend last night. he was excelent, a lil on the gay side, but that made it all the much better. Shane was shamorening w/me, and robin drank my shake....... oh, good times, good times.

Denny's Menu

Not closing night, but still went to Deeny's because closing noigh i son a thursday. -.-

Favorite Julio quit of the day: (while i was passing around my herbal lip balm which is lavander.)
Julio: "Hey, this smells like a plant."
Pricless.

So, Matt came and saw the performance today. He was not proud of what he saw, not at all. But it was all cool. He went to Denny's with us. Shane and I were Shamormening, good times. I miss Matt(by the way, this is Barrs we're talking about. I know to many. ><), he's a great friend and stuff, and we dirly need him in drama. He's so sincere in his actions and words, he always means what he says. It's all good though, I bugged him about his non-away message for aim. good times. good times.

not the usual type o'post.

i dont feel like writing about opening night.. but if i dont i will never.

it went bad. more than bad. as worse as it can get. but it's okay, because there were only 7 people in the ausience anyway. Lights didn't work. Sound didn't work. Costumes didn't have walkie-talkies. Comstumes were not ready. And i got bitched at for either them not being ready or to fix them, when nothing was my fault. nothing. But whatever... we know how to fix for tomorrow. w00t. everyone should come.... it will benifit the chad, whose how burnt to the ground.

and because i'm too lazy to swich blogs, a servey.

In The Last 48 Hours, Have You:
01. Cried: no
02. Bought something: b-day card for chadwick
03. Gotten sick: meh
04. Sang: yesh
05. Eaten: i guess....
06. Been kissed: i blame the chrys
07. Felt stupid: when do i not?
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't: no, i tell everyone i love them, even when i dont(it hides my insults)
09. Met someone new: i dont know
10. Moved on: sure
11. Talk to an ex: No....
12. Missed an ex: yes
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on: i dont think so
14. Had a serious talk: Quite seurmmm....yes...?
15. Missed someone: Yes.
16. Hugged someone: yes, even julio(ewwww).
17. Fought with your parents: no.
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: no
Social Life:
01. Best girl friend: Ummm all equal: Kenna, Chrys, Robin, Becky
02. Best guy friend: Kevin(i need to talk to him.....)
03. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: haha... thats a good one.
04. If no, current dating partner: julio of course!(except....not, eww.)
05. Hobbies: being bitched at by people who dont know what they're doing. it's quite fun really...>>
06. Pager: no.
07. Are you center of attention or the wallflower: neither... and i hate it.
08. What type automobile do you drive: white Isuzu Rodeo, yeehaw.
09. What type automobile do you wish you drove: i like it fine, but i guess one of those mini-suv's.
10. Would you rather be with friends or on a date: depends
11. Where is the best hangout: computer. school*cringe*
12. Do you have a job: yes, and i hate the Y
13. Do you attend church: oww, thats too painful.
14. Do you like being around people: some of them. but some people (ie: kenna!) freak out way to much than they need to, and should stop bitching at me(this is now everyone) because rae knows whats she's doing more than you.
Who:
01. Have you known the longest: sadly, nicole & deanna. sorry kenna.
02. Do you argue the most with: does everyone count?
03. Do you always get along with: I-meh. no one?
04. Is the most trustworthy: sadly, no one. sorry kenna, i trust you, but not like that.
05. Makes you laugh the most: Kevin.. and Dan used to. before he was tainted.. and all cancery... and in texas.
06. Has been there through all the hard times: *sigh* I suppose Kenna....or Shane.
07. Has the coolest parents: So myself, or Chrys.
08. Has the scariest siblings: Robin wins this vote, sorry kenna.
09. Is the most blunt: I forget, but had a great one.
10. Is the smartest: deanna, chrys, becky, chad
Personal:
01. Who is your role model: not anyone i knnow. I dislike to much about them to idol them, but like enough about them to keep them around
02. What is some of your pet peeves: People saying things are evil. Being bitched at for things i did right then having people ruin them and making me start over, or bitching at me for not knowing what i'm doing.(i always do, at least more than you)
03. have you ever wanted someone you had no chance with: like everyone else.
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: yeah.. i'm in that boat too.
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: kinda.... not on purpose.
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): yeah i have.
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: nah
08. Would you rather be dumper or dumped? dumped, i take it better. go figure. mutual's the best way to go!
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": eh?
10. Want someone you don't have right now: A little bit... and i blame it soly on julio.
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: ..yeh.. creepy..
12. Do you want to get married: Someday, maybe.
13. Do you want kids: Sure
14. Do you believe in psychics: They do exist! Are they psychic? ...no.
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: god i hope not.
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: nose! yay for piercing fetishes.
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: ability to heal my self by healing others(not those who refuse to thing and digest.)
18. Are you happy with you: yeah i am.
19. Are you happy with your life: not really... bitching is a freaquent word.
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: procrastination, amount of sleep i need and determination.
[ Current Clothes ]neh.... anchore blue this weekend.. yay sales!
[ Current Mood ] pissed, and not in the mood for homework
[ Current Music ] Vampire Hunter D- Medevil Song
[ Current Taste ] mouth, mine own thank you.
[Current Make-up ] eyeliner thats probly gone....
[ Current Hair ] Long, to long to be curly.. to short to be not curly.. Same texture, type and amount as elena(according to her), and same color as chad according to him
[ Current Annoyance ] eh, life. it needs to die while i go on....
[ Current Smell ] clean. like shane.
[ Current thing I ought to be doing ] Homework, and not this.
[ Current Desktop Picture ] my avi on go-gaia which is kick-ass. and dib, alwasy the dib.
[ Current Favorite Artist ] Brian Froud by far.
[ Current Favorite Group ] Devo, Oingo Boingo.... random crap on my comp..... and Enya.
[ Current Book you're reading ] The Scarlet Letter, The Book of Pirates
[ Current CD in CD Player ] cd mix by kenna
[ Current DVD in player ] i dont watch stuf... but it ws Laputa. or Current current is Final Fantasy 6(it's our ps2 if you dont know)
[ Current Color Of Toenails ] grimy... but clean at the same time.
[ Current Refreshment ] Water.
[ Current Worry ] Everything.

people are silly... expecially kenna.

uep, she's a smooth one. she didn't know that the link at the end of my posts was for commenting. i guess not to many though... robin and fred do!!!! they have no excuse, but it's okay.

my face hurts, and i dont know why, but it does, so i'm not doing work, but being online! go me.(it's ironic, becuse everyone i know is at rehersal!^^uuu)

i got my license! i got my license!!!! yay me! go me! i can drive me places! ^^

morargue

i love the way i alwasy have my title as some non-wordly sound. ^^

expanding on my last post, i dont even have said persons real aim s/n. i have their old one, which they never use, by lose chance of fate of an un-organized group of dryaides.

and please, dont expand on my thoughts in your blog unless it's a major part of your day ot really long. thats is why i have a commenting system, that everyone(that being NO ONE) seems to notice exisites, how it functions, or ignors it. that why it's there, to use. not to look pretty, because it doesn't. and besides, if people care enough to read about how i feel, they can come here. and if not, they can kiss my fluffy pink ass. simple as that.

I also find it quite amusing that, as far as i know, I have had this blog longer than any of my other friends(minus the chrys, mebbe) and yet no one cares about it. it is by far the prettiest, i know, i've looked around. but no matter what i do, no one cares. but thats fine... people dont care to listen to rae bitch anyhow, and i dont blame them. i guess it because it's only about superficial things, and water polo. nobofy loikes water polo much besides me anyway.... so i can deal, but it kinda hurts. Of all 7 years I've played, i've only had one friend come to a game just to watch me, one. And only once infact.

it also pains me that only after extreme proding and complaining do i get people to enjoy, or even take notice in the things i do mildly interesting. it took kenna until late middle school early high school to even relativly enjoy some anime and manga, i got her to try water polo once, and so on.(i'm only useing kenna as an example, dont take it personally.)i end up having to take part in what they like, which i usually like anyway, and following them around. but when i finally get into it, they dont care anymore and have moved on. it's like i'ev been intentionally left behind or something to that effect.....

meh

So, I just found two web journals of friends i dind't know about. I ahte that, it makes me feel so unloved. I'm never informed of anything....ever. Most of the contacts I haev are either from kenna, neccesity, or begging. why do people not like to tell me things? I'm often "forgotten" or neglected to be invited places..... and i never do things. it'd be different if i couldn't do things. then i'd just be bitter. but i'm bitter and hurt. but what can i do....? yell at them for not telling me? no, i can't do that..... firstly i'm too nice, secondly....no.

irked.

love the word.. not all to relevaent, but whatever. at this point i dont care.

Halloween was yester day, and if that was the fact it would have sucked. I was supposed to get my license that day, but they cancelled all of those, so now i get it tuesday. Fucking DMV.... Then we went looking for pumpkins and crap.. didn't find any, even though Ralf's isn't on strick anymore. Went to lunch with my polo team.... I'm really gonna miss it when Elena and Katie graduate.. it'll make me sad. But lunch rocked. Then went for my paycheck... which wasn't there because i didn't call. They called me, how was i supposed to know to call them back? Retards..... The i went home and got ready for Robin's house, which was okay, but Robin's was a butt, but Kenna and i went trick-ot-treating longer with Matt, who i feel sorry for even though he has become quite the loser. I got so many compliments on my costumes.. it was great! kenna's was cute(she borrowed my wings..... and was a faerie. and a very cute on at that.) and Robins was awsome too. She was Robin(the super hero). All in all the day was pretty eh... halloween pretty much sucked. And there was no Chrys because she was kanoddling with the Kevles. But i dont blame her. So I'm in a pretty crapy mood today.. with nothing to do. w00t, except not.

yay for peer pressure!

except not, but i did cave in and get one myself . here you go:
Feen's Dream Journal

mrawr

blogger is beeing a butt again. what a surprize. >.> (i still love you!)

fire is bad

i forgot if i already posted this, so it's gonna get reitterated. Chad's house was burned down according to kenna. T.T That makes me so sad... Chad has been much more awsome this year than the last, so we all love him. This makes it vry sad, 'cause The Chad doesn't deserve this.....not at all. T.T


in other news, my face is freakin me out. The red scar that always on my nose, yeah, well it's not so red anymore. 0.o I dunno if it's from being in doors or I'm growin out of it... but it's pretty niffy to have my face be only 2 colors instead of 3.(if your confused by my 2 and 3 colors, here they are: my pale skin color, my brown frecle color, and the red i get when i'm snburned or my scar.)

lightswitch_raves - 6 days

urg. there's been drama with the kenna and the fred(separate and together) I'm not gonna type screts and stuff they confided in e with or anything. and as far as they know, i am not involved(which..i'm not. ao there.) but my advice to both is to get an impartial counselur for your problems. peer mentor..school counselor, or what ever. i think you need it, you guys. i say this out of friend ship and fear of losing one or both of you to bad stuff. love you guys!

happy, non-flamible stuff.

about nicoles b-day party last night. it was so fucking fun.^^ great stuff. We played pass the pig(w00t! new drama game). Truth or dare, and some other stuff. One of the games required me to get my back kiised by Jeff Z., and my self to kiss Richie's elbow. it was good stuff, and stroking whit's jonga, which is nothing new. adn then LotR! so i'm all kinds of hopefull, happy, wistful, and depressed. go figure.

FIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRREEEEEEE!!!!!!!

yes, there is a fire(multiple actually) burning just a few miles away from the commmunity where we live. we getta start packin crap.. talking to two of my best buddies on aim, and their families are gettin ready to split too. funn stuff. i should pack, but i have too much i dont wanna leave...... my books, my drawings, my projects..... T.T i dont wanna leave them!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's l;ike a sci fi movie........ not fun.

i dont know what this should be called

I'm not angry, or mad, or extremely hapy. a bit confused, but whats new? Chad scares me. Firstly, he has an incredibly deep voice when he wants, it's really freaky. Secondly, he was doing a calculus problem because he wanted to know the answer, it was not assigned. And then he kept saying, "What the freak?!" which i found amusing. it's great.


And then there's Julio, poor, poor julio whom we love to hate. It was awsome. Chrys and Becky got julio into a double hug, one on both side. It was awsome. Then we trapped him in room A, I got as hug in myself, he's sp squirmy. ^.^ But then he asked me if i could roll a quater down my face without leaving my skin, which i did with ease thank you,^^. But it left a line down my face(if you dont know the sides of quarters are coated in graphite, same thing we use in pencils). Which promted him to put his arm around me(progress! yess!Julio, no!!) and show me off to the other people in class who didn't care. I was amused, go me. Last behiind the wheel today... license on halloween!^^

julio is painful

he really does. when he pokes or pinches us back, it's very owchie. When we do it to him, it doesn't hurt, it's just bothersome to him. That kid has SO many contradictions... it's amazing.

I'm feeling very craptacular right now...working on a project for history that was due today....and i'm sick. I'm never sick, damn YMCA. I hate that place, I wanna quit. Bleck. That reminds me, I need to call My boss, oopsies. Whatever... I dont care. I have to much on my plate, and then irresponsible boss, and iris. iris makes all things bad. what? she vapous.(sp) and it hurts.

neh?

weirdness.. but why not? kennas is hilarious...

what do they really think of you by purple
lj name
sex
age
your best friend thinks	You're hiding the bodies
your family think	you're an alien
strangers think	they wouldn't wanna cross you
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

now that i'm done with crazyness.. on to actual blogging!!


went to homecoming last night. it was pretty awsome, much better than last year. I went by my self, and left by myself, what can i say. it was all cool though.Too much to describe, i went to Psats, then shopping, then prep(all of 45 mintues including shower!!) and then dance, which was okay. i havn't much to say, but my room is depressing and it makes my back hurt.

kenaa said nervy-spaz.

frightening. today was "I heart the 80's" day for school spirit week(ick). But since I'm a child of the 80's, and am very fond of it, i decided i'd get some extra credit in math(unfortunatly we had a sub, who was an anal retentive, stick up his ass, gay jewish new yorker who was 45. bad combo.) So no credit para mi.T.T Adn juklio kept calling me a gringa!!! He makes me mad with all his contradictions, and irony's and redundantcies...... eaarg. However, the Russle and Chad are very nice, very nice indeed. ^^ Survivor Night!!! Whoo-hoo! TV Makes me happy.^^ forgot what i was gonna say, so i'm off like a prom dress!

seraa, the crapiest school on earth!

kenna and i went to madison's Back to the Beach, choire bash. and it rocked liek you wouldn't believe. Stacy, a friend of ours from camp, is in it so we went and she sung "Pinapple Princess" which was awsome. Justin was super cool too(another kid from camp). It made Kenna and I sad because our school is bad, and we can count our chorus on one hand, we needed both hands and feet 3 times to get close to what they have. And their theatre rocks too. besides that the school had all sorts of ghetto-ness, i wanna go there. T.T Kinda looking forward to my play, even though i have a great distaste for cliche, but i'll live. Hopefully i can get a better part after this and feel better. if not, then it's over and i can wait until we get our new drama teacher next year. w00t. or not, we'll see.


ack, becky was supposed to e-amil me the collateral, but she hasn't. maily cuz she hasn't my e-mail address, bo. boo on her. i've been calling her all day too. drat. double drat!!! she die's, i'm calling her house again.

Water Polo is not for those who are pregnant and faint of heart.

And how. But really, it was amazing what these people got away with today. I was doulbe teamed(not to mention i didn't even have the ball). And it was so blantent, oh so blanent. I got fecking scratch marks from one of them. Arg, it made me so mad, next time I'm gonna bite them, and bite them hard. I kicked this girl in the crotch, so hard, that if she was male she'd be in the emergency room now. Ask me about it, it's an intersting story. I have a giant bruise on my leg and hurts to walk, and nice battle wound on my arm. ain't it fun?

Balboa Driving School dies

errggg. So, i was supposed to have my third and final behind the wheel last night. We thought it was at 5:00, so at 5:30 we called the place to see whats up. They said it was at 7:30, and we were like, fine, whatever. As long as i got to get it done with. So then he calls back, and says the instructor wouldn't be able to get to our house until 9:00. Since that would be uber creepy, both the instructor and my parents decided against it and made an appointment tuesday. Then my mom called back to complain the their supervisor or owner about how they were running their program. They dumb secretary guy kept hanging up on my mom. She got realy pissed, and made my dad call. He was much more calm, but the guy huing up on him anyways. So now I have no be-hind the wheel at all, and my parents are contacting Consumer affairs about this issue. While now get to haev the extreme previledge of finding another school to do my last be-hind the wheel. w00t. it made me cry, because i've been trying to get this damn thing since my b-day. why does life hate me so?

i hate clairmont.

they suck, i hate them. But I blame the boys. For those who are confused(which is ZERO be cause no one's here!) I mean the Boys water Polo team(i am a polo nerd, get used to it) Clairmont is thgeir major enemy, like Mira Mesa is the girls. but they lost, cuz they suck, and we dont! ^^


On to other stuff.... Costumes are making me sad. So I'm gonna start with ugly duckling stuff(cuz I'm cool, and I'm the lead. GO ME!) Anyhoo, I waa like: "Ms, Howell, I'll begin on Ugly Duckling, cuz I'm in it and stuff." and iris was all(and might i add, very OVER enthusiastic.) "ooh! Me too!!!!" -.- I'm gonna need someone to shoot me in the head.>> I swear, Iris is okay, as long as I'm not forced to work with her. But later, i said something along the llines of:"I want to do this play because I'm in it, blah, blah, blah." to kenna or someone. mebbe iris, but i dont often direct attention at her. >> BUt, well, this was her reply: "Me Too!" and so i said, because i was sure she wasn't in it, "Your in ugly Duckling?" and of course she said no.......0.o There is something not right about that girl. She is too enthusiastic, too quick too agree, to prying and to quick to fit in. and all too irretating. her ideas clash with kenna's and mine, she doesn't compromise, and she doesn't understand that she isn't head of costuming. and she doens't keep her big mouth closed. meh. ehh. arrrgggg!!!!!!><

me-ha!

i remembered what i wanted to say now.^^

My dad is such a dork. He'll randomly ask questions like(the one he asked today): "How would you like living in La Jolla? On the hill?" Well duh buddy, of course! "If i can still go to serra, it's all good with me pa." and he'll do that every once and a while.

euk.

thats an interesting onomatopoeia.(haha! that is how you spell it too!)

i completly forgot what i was gonna say, but whats new?

my daddy gave me pants for the play, yay! hopfully they'll fit Russell.. if they dont i'd be sad. T.T but, whatever. I got to talk to Stacy today, she's fecking awsome. Kenna and I, and possibly Chrys and Katie are gonna go see her choir at madison. it makes me happy. She's showing interest in seeing one of our plays as well.^^ people make me happy. Costuming is sctually begining to come together! exceot al together to late, and slow... making me start to panic. whee. except, not.

oww

julio's painful. and hipocritical. my mom was being mean to me when i was trying to have a conversation. i haven't anything to day because my mind is reeling from homeword!

mmm, history!

yesh, i finally got the essay done. all's i gots to do now is go online on my parents computer and print!^.^ yay me. I'm happy.

and if you havn't noticed the random up-spring of mmm, (blank), WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?!??! ^^ Anyway, if your wondering where it came from (your being no one, as no one is ever here) one day, about 5 days ago, I had to write a paper for math(yss, i know, absurdity!! but true.). And i decided to do it on functions(as that was the whole damn chapter...) and randomly, out of no where, I said to my self: "mmm, functions" and so titled my paper. and then showed it to robin. my math teacher took it well.^.^ and so now i put mmmm before lots of things, mostly the things that aren't so mmmm.

T.T

I just watched lelo and stitch for the first time... the endding made me cry. T.T but it was cute.^.^ the side-story-line kinda sucks though..... and thent he end kinda weirded me out. wathcing it now. o.o scares me.

thrift stores smell like grandma

but i love them still. Kenna and i got a good healthy amount of costume shopping done today, i'm very proud. I also got a super cool tie, and an awsome skirt(strip-y.. yay-ness!) and it's not incrediby short this time either.... happiness. joyness. and then we went to mission valley. and hot topic. i robin and myself got becky a b-day present(was last weekend!><) and i got a post card(for my infamous wall) and two pins. one psyco gir.. and my pride and joy: a black pin that said "A pirates life for me". and later found out they didn't put it in my bag. T.T i want it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>< i miss it.......

and then there was much costco and lows...! i love stuff like that. ^.^

R.E.M rocks my wrold

yeah, i posted this song a while ago, but i find it relevent now. it's by R.E.M, or a remake, i'm not sure. but here it goes:

Time, why you punish me?
Like a wave apssin' into the shore,
You wash away my dreams.


Time, why you wall away?
Llike i feel there's no where to go,
You left me, cryin'.


Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow,
And all the pain and sorrow?
Runnin' free,
'Cause tomorrow's just another day,
And i dont believe in time.


Time, I don't understand.
Children killing in the streets
And i'm the color of red.


Time, the red and blue,
Wash 'em n the ocean,
Make'em clean,
Maybe their mothers wont cry tonight.


Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow,
And all the pain and sorrow?
Runnin' free,
'Cause tomorrow's just another day,
And i dont believe in time.

I found it relevant.^.^ i also found this very unfished poem i wrote, which i am very proud of:

I wish i knew,
I knew instinctly.
But I was weak,
And I was meekly.


I should have been strong,
I should not have cried.
But as I was thikning,
It fell into stride.


That as in song,
And as in thinking,
Nobodies strong,
We are all weaklings.


So as I sit,
Thinking these thoughts,
It is just like
The filling of pots.


They are all differnet,
And yet still the same,
it is a weakness
And drives me insane.


That i can judge,
And i can fill,
But even then, always,
Always i spill.

copywrite me butt-monkey's.

drama rocks robin cock-socks(because they're cox!)

i have fun idiums(sp)

oi. -.- costumes are awsome, except for the small problem we call iris. i know she's a nice person, but me and kenna don't work well out side of ourselves together. Separatly with others is fine, but not together. So there are issues. but we can deal. We're thrift shopping tomorrow!! Bith for play, and for Home Coming!!! Yess!>, Happiness.

Julio is a riot. I love that kid. Has some issues acting though, but i can relate. I had some major issues last year, and i cannot do monologues for the life of me(i can do them well mind you, but i about kill my nervous system just waiting to give it.) He's so funny, and totally flirting w/me, wether he knows it or not. it amuses me, because I dont think he does. But i dont know him well enough to say so.

argggg!><

okay, so Ms. Howell cast me for one of the lead roles in a play i dont like, by an author i dont like, for a part i dont like, at a time that is oh so inconvinient to me! And she so didn't catch my hint!(which was:"I can't not play water polo Ms. Howell, and I'd really rather not do this play.") and aparently practice starts sooner than i've been told! >< Coach dies. I told him about my part today, and he gave one of those nervouse chuckles and said: "Well, you better fix it!" but at least he understands that this is my grade, and i can't just drop out of it from no where. However, on the other hand my mom yelled at me like it was my fault! And it's not like i'm doing everything in my power to fix this little problem of mine... but she wouldn't listen! ack! i swear..... So i get the lovely job of talking to Ms. Howell about this tomorrow and seing if a) I can get out of this play b) i can swing a rather iffy schedual or c)be screwed over for water polo and have the coach come and watch me so at least i get something out of the deal. but they all suck, 'cept for a, but then i let Ms. Howell down. bleh! I hate drama in drama!

becky's party was fun.^^

i went to becky's b-day party yesterday.^^ it was so awsome. I'll try to go in order, but we'll see.

so becky picked me up for her own party(i was amused too.) the we went to her house where various boy's(Tomas, Blake, Mike Janzynn{he spelt it last night.. i knw i have the right letters... but how many of which?}, Andrew Swchitzer, and this asian guy i didn't know named Chuck i think) watching a tv show entitled: "Love and Sex" or something along those lines. It was very retared, but i was amused yb the intensity of their stare at the telelvision. whee!

Then off we went to Mini-golf, which wasn't so much golfing as running arounf with clubs and balls, and throwing balls places trying to do stuff. it was all kinds of fun. There was a Travis and a Jon there. They're awsome, yo. Jon was all kinds of my type of person. He kept asking about kenna(all of, once) and if he could still break her and roy up, why i was posse-less(he did use that word) and being mad at me for taking ap spanish. It was fun. I like them, they make me smile. I also met some of becky's friends I didn't know, and got along with them well. yay me!(it was the asian ones i didn't know, and nicky, who was black, but thats close enough.)

When we were done bugging the crazy mini-golf entusiasts, we went inside Boomers(or rather, everyone tried to ditch me and becky as we chased each other around playing slap-ass) adn we(i say we, but it was mostly i and the boys) decided to play video games. Becky and I made asses of ourselves playing ddr.^^ the Tomas made an ass out-of-himself playing DDR. The Tomas, Nicky, Travis and I decided to make asses of our selves plaing DDR by each claiming an arrow and stomping it. The asian people atred at us in amusment. I shared nachos w/Cathy, who is pretty awsome.

The as we left, there was Jew, and some other people, and Sean, and he hugged me before i noticed he was there and i was surprized. Then the boys were calling shot-gun in tomas' car, and nicky and i decided to just call for window. Andrew started running like the ass he was(it was very amusing, like Edd in Ed, edd and eddy.) and then Mike ran after him(much more like a gazelle, but with less grace and more lanky-ness) passed him in like half a secand. The Blake ran after them for some reason. Then a couple of minutes later Blake and Andrew come back saying Squak(refering to Mike) was standing on Tomas's car. Then we saw our local Hobbit run, which is just as funny.

Then we went for Boba. I decided to get peppermint milk tea, it wasn't that bad, and Tomas' kept asking to tastes, which is funny. Earlier at Boomers while i was eating the nacho's Cathy and i split, he got some too and to harras him i stole one of his chips, but he freaked out because one landed on the floor, so i picked it up and ate it. Freaked him out more, Cathy laughed and said: "The ive second rule!!!" And then Tomas squaked(yes, he did squak) "EWWWW!!!!!! I am never gonna kiss those lips ever!!!!!" And it amused me, but he wanted my boba and endded up drinking the last half i didn't want.


then we went o Becky's hosue to watch movies(never happened) and instead watch this show on Oxygen. The host was an 80 year old lady taling about sex, not normal sex, kinky sex. It was amusing, couldn't stop laughing. Then some girl called in asking if she was still a virgin if she had had anal sex. Aparently that is true. I was amused.

The tomas had one of those frisby things, that hover, and we went to Kumeyee park and played with it. We had loads of fun. I'm a happy camper.^^

i'm crying on the outside

basically, my mom just told me she doesn't expect more than a C in any of my classes as long as i learn the stuff. i have a huge head-ach and the asprin gave me heartburn. v.v she spent about 20 mintues explaining to me why i shouldn't worry, and just learn and not worry about grades because i can't be good at everything. but the thing is i'm not very good at anything. i'm in AP spanish and i dont understand one word my teacher says to me ever, I have a C- in his class, and i have apsolutly no idea what the hell is going on ever. my english teacher is an idiot and has no idea what she's doing. And it all makes me cry. literally.

Ever since I moved to San Diego i haev been an average student. average, and i hate that word no matter how cliche it is. i loathe it with a passion. I have always been the dumb kid here, where everyone was smarter than me, quicker than me, witty-er than me and brighter than me. People wont even let me wallow in my stupidity and sorrow. I'm trying my best and it's not good enough. It's never good enough.

A dream of mine has been, for a very long time, since I moved here I think in 3rd grade, to haev a teacher, any teacher, say in front of the class what a good job I've done, how immpressed they were with me, and how surprized. And all i've ever gotten was: "You didn't quite grasp the concept," "You went off on a tangent", "You never finnish your thougths." Even if it was my most teasured piece of work ever done, it's not more than ok. ever.

I dont really understand why my expectations are so high, I've never had a perfect gpa, only once have i ever had above a B in math or spanish, I wasn't able to even understand my own language until my freashmen year, and now my mom says she doesn't care if i get great graes as long as i understand. and it's not good enough for me. I want just once to be the best, for 5 mintues, it would make me happy for such a long time. I'm increddibly tired of everything. I can't even not care if I dont get good grades. i want them so bad, to prove to people i'm not as dumb as i tell them i am. but i can't and i give 200%. i dont understand why i dont understand things. maybe i have some-sort of learning disability. my mom refses to let me think that. but maybe it's true, maybe i dont understand because my head doesn't work correctly and i need things in reverse, i dunno.

My cousin is dilexic, mebe i am too. I know i'm smarter than these people i know who have A's and B's in everything, and thats what makes it so hard, i know it. but i can't prove it. i am smarter than them but I'm not a test taker, never have been. I dont know how, I try so hard but always do bad even if i know whatever it is by heart. I can't even get thoughts out on paper, or type them.

I'm so tired of this life... not living, but the way i have. I hate most technology. Not the way you hate a person who has just shot your dog for no reason, but a hate that you know you'd be better off with out it. I would do better without computers, cars, and others. i'm sure i was born in the wrong time. I ant to be adventurous, but i'm afraid of everything. I dont want to be hree anymore, but i dont want to leave. I wish I could be somewhere else, not like another country, but like another realm, in a book, in a video game, in an rpg, from my head, anywhere. I dont like it here. There's something about me that makes me feel i shouldn't be here, like i was misplaced. When I was in middle school i used to close my eyes and hope really hard that when I'd open them i would be somewhere else, I'd be a pokemon master, or a sailor scout, or something of that nature, adn i would be to afraid to open my eye's again for fear that when i did i would still be here. And i always was. I always will be. Sometimes i wish i could run away, and live with some less advanced people, liek an indian tribe or something of that nature. but i'm too cowardly to do anything alone, i put to many restrictions o things, and i dont always thing for my self. Sometime's i think for everyone else. and i want ot be able to chang, but i dont know how.

argg...

dude, i got the exact part i didn't want in the play(granted, it's as lead as i'm gonna get, not that i particulaly want one) that i didn't even want to be in. Yay polo, boo Ugly Duckling. Boo. v.v eh, what can i do? I at least get to design my own dress, which rocks. yay for crazy asians, they make me smile. i had so much more to post, but i really forgot, yay me!

moe up-date-ness of huntington beach!

yeah, when we went surfing, the ocean left skid-marks on my mothers surboard. the ocean friggin' shat on my mom's board!!!!^^ i was amused. it was red tide, and i felt like i was swimming in paprica. yeehaw for swimmin' in spices!!!!

kenna and i just made the most awsome spanish presentation about Ohio. we rock, impossibly so.

and i'm pretty sure i've had suppressed dilexcia. i've been having problems with speling words latly. as is obvious. but it's simple words i should know, and it's just two letters being swiched around, and it's weird. i also substitute words for other words when my head can't sound them out. thats alwasy ben a priblem for me, but not overtly so. and it makes me smile. i dont know why.

and after watching this video here, i have decided i need a crazy asian boy friend, like my cousin, whose boyfriend looked strangly like the one's in the video....

is moe, is betta? fo' sho'.

T.T

so, as of today, i am totally left alone in my world of innocense, with only Julio to keep me company. And he's a freakish christian who is germaphobic and doesn't like people to touch him. and so, i am all by my self. completlly. i wanna cry, except not. like we were saying earilier, julio will not make it through drama with out seeing and ass, pot or boobs. hopefully drama will fix me too.

T.T

32048my mom just told me i missed Oprah with Queer Eye, and it makes me cry!!! i love them so much!!!!!><

mickey mouse had the hots for rae....

it was so true!!!!!!>< i was scared, but i'll get to that alter in the post.

so, i would like to star this ioff with say on the drive up to Huntington Beach i saw a condom emporium... very amusing. and then, i was watching a movie before we went to Disney land, and there was a guy who looked very much like joey... but with dreds. i was happy.

urg. at disney land, i wanted to get a pirate hat, and they embroidered stuff on it, and i wanted to get embroidered "MEGA WENCH"!!!!! but the stupid lady wouldn't let us.... biznach. so we left, and i eventually got one later to take home and put "Mega Wnech" on there myself with puffy paint. and i also bought the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrac.. yayness. and pins for robin, chrys, kenna and others......

we almost ate at Freds... unfortunatly it was a bar. but then my brother started talking about "bases" you know(couple-wise) and they(not me, my mom and rbother) discussed what everything was, and my brother said someting about a homerun, and then my mom said something about butt-sex, and i said grand slam(didn't hear what she said) and then my mommy said "Grand slam?! It's a fould ball!! They missed!" and i was scared for life. and that was my week end. more up-dates later maybe.

BEACH!!!!!

Iget to go to huntington beach!! and then LA and then Disney Land and the more LA!!!!!! Ya for stuff!!>< so, if i'm not around, it's because of that. i'll be back sunday night, and i bring the school wrok with me! yee-haw!!!!!!!!!

on another note, i had to try out for a part i really am not able to do(time wise) but eh, i'll try, and hopefully i wont get it. i want Queenie, Gillian, or one of the witches!!!!(really not too ready for a part like lady macbeth, therefore, not gonna even try.) w00t!

ick

i have just had a very short and sudden period of yay, which has been promptly followed by ick. and when i write "ick" i mean just that, "ick." thats what i think of as i think of my life. I get nausious, and some-what nervous, and anxious, because i'm begining to see my life for what it really is. i am so tired of school, but everything i do is school related, friends, water polo, drama, etc. and i think i've mentioned this, but i've been maving some issues with certain peoples in the "friends" deparment. expecially those who are at a "ladies night" right now with out me, not that i mind that much. i mean, i was sort of invited, but giving a vauge description on tuesday for planes friday doesn't really help, expecially when one isn't reminded, but eh.

and i have relized that there is no one outside of school for me to hang out with unless it is a "function".(functioon= party, game, play, practice, school work related, and so forth). i have recently walked with the chrys to her home before mine, and stayed an hour or so watching movie clips and song clips, which is pretty awsome, but besifde that there is really nothing else for me to do after school except school work and the like. I have also come to the realization that, as prior I thought, I dont really mind much, if at all. i rather not spend my time with people who dont really like me anyways. why should i/ i'm better off with out them. there has been many a time in my life where i have been friendles, and i can do it again, although i prefer not to.

I've been looking to other people lately who normally i wouldn't for friendship, either because i dont like the other people I'm around, of i feel like I'm being the annoying one, or a burden, and I hate that. So I look to Chad, who is in two of my classes, Fred, with whome I've been very pen pal buddies online with for over a year and a half, i think. And even the ex-freshmen Jennifer, adn osometimes Nicole or Deanna, or Whitney. I've also been(or was) talking rather frequently on the phone with kevin, and he rocks. And Becky's been awsome and a half. But most of these people aren't really my true friends, truly. adn some how i dont give a fuck.

i've tried to become more that just a team mate to my water polo buddies, and slow that is begining to happen, but it's a long way before any of them ask me to go with them to a party, or to hang out at their house, but i dont blame them.

but I think waht bothers me the most is, with out all the social buddy-ness going on, I can't seem to do(or focus maybe?) more on my school work. And this is what drives me nuts. I want to be smart, I want to be the best, but it's like I'm me with some giant man pushing on my head with one fingure saying: "You can't get past me, go back to dumb english and math!!*evil laughter*" I was thinking about this a few minute ago, and i thought, "I'm gonna cry soon." but i didn't, and i didn't know why. Why wasn't i sad i hadn't any trully true friends any more? Because I didn't care, i dont care. I want high school to end right now so i can go to colledge and move on with me life. Figure out what i'm gonna do, an then do it. It is depressing, but i dont really care, it's deserved, but that doesn't really matter to me.

I dont know, maybe i need a boyfriend or something liek that, but i really dont think i do, and i know someone else who would agree with that too. Maybe i just need time to think, or to move away. Since i came up with the iea, probably when i was 13, i have always wanted to just drop what i was doing and go with with my cousins up in berkley, and go to Berkley High where everything doesn't suck. but there was always the leaving of the friends, but now thats really not a problem, because i think i would get over it rather fast. but now I haev an obligation to water polo and drama.... and everythings so complicated. i promised i wouldn't be so high school dramatic in high school, and although i'm not, all the drama is going on around me. maybe it's because i finally grew up, and everyone else hasn't so then we dont get along.

But there are a few goals that I've made for myself in life:
1. go to a four year colledge, and get a degree, or two
2. buy a house all by myselve with out financial support from anyone. and not just as condo like my parents, but like the house my aunt and uncle have in berkely.
3.become well know. not famous, per say, but in what every feild of work i choose, be a prominent successful competitor.
3. See the world, be cultured
4. and lastly, learn more than 3 languages.

And here are those I haev for the rest of high School:
1. Learn to play the violin or piano or both
2. get a 5 on the Ap spanish exam
3. Get a four on the p Eng and Ap Us. Hist. exam
4. get a 4.0 without cheating(using AP classes)
5. get an "A" in each class.
6. finish designing my room

these are the few misely things i wish to acomplish. nfortunatly, i know most if not all will not happen. but i have my hope, and thats pretty much all i have, becuase my dad is crazy, my brothers a jackass, my mom droped out of high school, my cousins are in berkly, and i am hated b the universe. and again, "there has been much doom."-The Chrys

XD

today was much happy. beside the out-of-nowhere poem essay thing, today was friggin' awome. i was elected V.P of Drama club!^.^ very happy, and Chrys is the prez, so awsome nes.^^ and kenna was much less annoying. i'm happy, mebbe things will smooth out now?

mehrowr.

honestly i dont know what the hell that ^ is. go fig.

there has been, as chrys likes to put it: "Much doom," latly with the friends department. -.- aparently there's been an epidemic of annoying, and oblivious(not the good kind), and there-fore has the Skank much unfortunandome. and yes, that is a new word now. there are the friends of friends that i didn't liek in the first palce that now bug me to death. and then there's friends who hang out with the friends friends and are acting like them more and more each day. bleck. and then there are those friends who are really, really good friends, but havn't seemed to catch the hint, and grow more annoying by the minute. so, i'm begining to ture to new people. The polo team for instance, i'm liking them more and more each time i'm with them. The 6th period, liking them more and more each period. the Chrys, stays reliably non-annoying and faithful. yay. And robin, with hre unusal, very retared friends who-are-not-so-much. Which then means yay for Deanna, nicole, and Whitney. Cary has also been pretty awsome latly, who knew? And the Shane remains one of the faithful few of my male friends who doesn't suck. In Fact, i haev very few guy friends at all, beside him and the Chad. i need new friends, badly. but then again, i've said this before.

yo ho, yo ho; a pirates life for me

that had nothing to do with this post, except that pirates still rock.

so, barrs came to vsit the drama department today, he was telling everyone(or mishelle and that other girls whose namae i'm blanking on, who followe dhim around) about his summer, how he went on a road trip and went up to san Fransisco and Berkely and didn't go to telegraph(loser) and such. He's still a really nice guy. Asked how my summer went, told him about my job, and camp, and my many different illnesses. fun stuff. kinda excited about BBC, kinda alot. I wanna play an esentric old woman.^^ but i dunno. we'll see. and i'm a month away from my licence day!!!

whee~

oi, fun stuff. drama is now my happy place, and i'm not sure why. o.0 but hey, what works works. but other stuff sucks! i hate homework. T.T make it end!!! but anywhoo.....happiness is purdy prominent. gonna get a blog for my drama journal. it will eventually be located here: http://chibitoki.topcities.com/drama/ but it's non-existent as of now. w00t.and so stuff. i've been very idea oriented latly, makes me agreeable. very much soo.

-.- polo, how i love thee...

like i said to chrys, we had some precious becky moments this weekend.*sniff* but really, it was fun. nbot only am i finally accepted as a team member now, i am also becomeing a friend.
^^ i've been a happy camper since school started.


for those who didn't know(and those who care,) i was at a water polo clinic this week end. i had fun, it was done by the womens national team, who is is the olympics(and hence forth the u.s.a womens olympic team). i learned so friggin much. but i hurt so friggin' bad!>< had some good fun though. much of becky, and hence forth her boobs are "the staff". the highlight of the trip though, are only freshman severed(nnot trough the bone, but all the way too) her fingure cutting a bagle. -.-*sigh* she is her brothers sister, no denying. i had fun, learned lots, and was overall happy with the trip.^.^

*sigh*

so, the whole Doyle party thing, where everyone was gonna get drunk, and all of us tried to avoid.(kenna wen to roy's house, robin and shane went to her house, and i was with becky for a while with shane and robin.) but they came to my house, and i left with intentions of telling them i was working, and had to run some errends soon. but i endded up staying, and i'm not sure why. probably to keep David company. And i felt really bad, beacause he was really nice, but drunk off his ass. And then his "friends" were being mean to him and wouldn't tell him why. He's a great guy, but if he had more resopnsible friends, i think he'd be better off. getting drunk all the time as a teenager cannot be good, and i felt really bad because he was so understanding and nice about me not wanting their alcohol. T.T but oh well, maybe i can help him if i become friends with him. i think i'll try.

<(>.<)>

XD i'm happy.^^ we're doing scene study in drama right now(before the plays), and becky, robin and i are doing one together. and it fucking rocks. >< oi, are characters are estrogon(becky, which we like to call estrogen), vladamir(me!), & pozzo(robin). it's a play for men, but we're making it women. it's awsome. makes us happy. robin's blind in this too.. al she does is yell "HELP!" and it is awsome.^^ joiness.^^ happiness.^ and there is much polo this weekend. much. yay me!

yeehaw

yes, yeehaw indeed. i now have a block of howell! i get to help with costumes, dont know why, but whatever. i'm really excited for stuff this year, i really want to do these plays.^.^ but the one's i really want to do are when polo is. v.v oh well, thats what i get, i guess. but i'm glad we're doing macbeth, but maybe it's because ms. howell can make anything interesting. we'll see.

mroww!

okie-dokie, yesterday was hectic. >.> yeah, so i get up get ready, and go to school. i was pletny of happy, plenty! i see chrys on the way, so my day already kind rocks. her, and me kinda stumble over, as we haven't seen each other for like, 2 weeks, and my brother follows with a very nasty attitude beacuse 'i left him" and it wasn't so hard to follow? anyhoo, we go to get our scheduals, and i'm all yay beacuse my schedual kinda rocked for a preview. everything was kind the same, but instead of bio, i got AP Phys, whish is short for Physics. I hate physics. you know, it only rules over everything in my life EVERY day. -.- but here WAS my schedual:
AP History
AP Spn Lang
AP Eng Lit.
H PreCal
AP Phys
Drama 5


mrorww. hiss. four AP clases are bad for the rae, very bad. so, after school, i go con robin to get them changed, we waited in a abig ass line for 20 mins to get a number to wait some more. -.- so we go to mcdonalds to get drink(we were dehydrated), food(robin id hypoglacimic(sp?), kinda, but so am i), and to see roy, as we haven't since forever.we decide we want to get back i time so as not to miss our number. they were still on #8. I was #35 for McDonald(what irony), she was #32 for Keho. Much doom. So i wait for hours for my turn, and i was about to leave, but then becky said she'd give me a ride home and i stayed a lil longer. right as i had to leave, they called my number, those bitches. ><


so then come early in the moring to get the damn thing changed, @ 7:20 they turn me away saying the doors were gonna close. arrggg!>< so much doom upon them! the day started off terrible. but it got bettr, i mean, i had robin in 3 of my classes now.^^ much yay.

so here is my new shedual:
AP History
AP Spn Lang
AP Eng Lit.
H PreCal
In. The. Des.
Drama 5


so, i now have a big block of howell until further notice. w00t. there was much happiness to drop that AP class. but they couldn't get me into bio unless i got out of adv. precal, which i think is more important right now. so i get an easy(or drama) class. unless ms. howell doesn't want me in there..... we'll see tomorrow.

yarr

i gotta pet a cute lil puppy today.^^ it was great. i had something awsome to write, but totally forgot. i have to go back to school tomorrow. eck.

<(^.^)> (>^.^)> <(^.^<) ^(^.^)^

yeah! you see kirby dance? wanna know why he's dancin'? ......i got my computer back!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!>< i'm so happy. i have it back, and all my old stuff, and it doesn't suck! it doens't!!!!!

dude!

this is awsome. okay, so aparently my pokemon name is Shatwhirl, and my my natural enemy is Charchu. i'm happy.

go here to get your own pokemon name.^^

aha!

you believed me you loser! ^^ i'm not really moving, no. but you got a good preveiw of my new layout!^^

w00t

so close to school, makes me happy.^^ but anyway, i'm finally ditching this long url, and crappy ad's. pissed off with them. so please, join me at my new url, http://geocities.com/amieemouri/blog.html, yay for stuff.

aha!

success!!!!!!>< i just saw an awsome movie with my mom, Whale Rider, too awsome for words. Thesound trak was mebbe even more awsome, i have to get it! and then to awsome food at Pizza Nova. Yayness. but my watch strap broke, T.T but i'm going to go to encinitas this weekend, which means hansens(for back to school) and they have watch bands.^^ and then school starts tuesday, yay! i just got good night hours, yay! i have a behind the wheel after school tues, yay! i'm all sorts of yay! but i need to pick up my pay check. boo. oh well, everything else is yay! and kenna's back from kentucky! more yay.