Nostalgia

I miss my cousins. Desperatly. Out of nowhere! I dunno why, I suppose it's the peppermint chamomile tea, it's what my grandma always has, and the smell reminds me of them adn their house and my aunt and all the thigns that come with visits to adn from them. Of Berkely, street fairs, beach days, thrifting, lounging, being lazy, scheming, driving way outta our way to watch random movies, more scheming, no follow through, indian rock, striping, hooker-fying each other, leopard sharks, fancy dining, beach, ocean, summer, imagination, creation, art, photos, filming, turkey, dress-up, ignoring my brother, the kid table, late nights, laughing so hard I pee my pants, not worrying about being the center of attention, people wondering how I fit into the mix with my 2 red-headed cousins, red-headed aunt and my red-headed mother, being yelled at by my grandma, being the middle child, having the closest unconditional friendship between 2 girls that I havn't found else where, getting the closest thing to sisters that I could get, not worrying about anything but that they/I leave on saturday afternoon. Nostalgia sucks sometimes. :(

what a day. totally not the update from the last week ro so of my life that I promised you. Like anyone who doens't already know reads this. To say the least, I am tired, stressed, frustrated, and now I'm feeling a little dread now that I looked up a symbol I had in a dream last night. The dream itself is hazy, but I clearly remember vomiting into my bathroom sink because I had eaten too much food and couldn't keep it down. I read somewhere(rather recently) that the dream of throwing up means that there is something that I need to reject or get rid of something that is negative in my waking life. I know what it is too. With all the crap I am doing, I know exactly what it is. Unfortunatly, I dont know if it's something I can do right now. So many things I need to straighten out, and I am sitting here telling you guys what it meant for me to barf in ym dream. Good time managment. Seriously. I need a freakin' vacation so I can take the time to organize my life to get everything in order because right now, I don't know right from left (not that I had a great idea in the first palce, but you get my point)

bah.

I can't belive I haven't updated since my birthday..... and I seriously dont have time now. I'll getcha'll up-to-date as soon as middys are over.... so at some point on friday or saturday most more than likely. Currently I am have an incredibly emo moment due to the fact that everything is happening at once and everybody has their own idea as to what is best for me. Advice? Just keep your mouth shut until sunday. For my own sanity. I've never had an anxiety attack, and I dont plan on starting now.