oh boy... last performance night. yippy! I've had so much fun doing this... but finallly it's done. It'll be great to not have to worry about anythiing again...even though i dont consider this a worrying thing. I enjoy acting, and plan on doing so next year. I hope I'm not bad.^^U

but anyway... for some reason i've been feeling bad today. not like i'm sick...just...bleh. i wish i could talk to people...but... i'm really lacking in the social skills area. really. i dont know when it happened, but i really would've wished someone had told me so i knew. I would've fixed that problem. So off i am to mop alone, because i dont want anyone to know!

owch. my flesh, and my eyes burn like the hot flame from a thousand burning suns. it burns!!!!!! we had a swim meet today. i had one event, the 500. My googles came off the first 25. My counter didn't know how to count. I did an extra fifty. Stacy says i could swim a mile.^^ yay me, more swimming.

But there was a serious lack of Matt-edge today. Aparently, he just didn't come to school. Chrys and I didn't know what to do with ourselves. It took us a while to firgure out he wasn't there. i mean, we noticed that he wasn't with us, but took a minute or so to relize he wasn't at school. We're quick like that. yay us. And Betsy has Saundra runnin for her money. She may be, the BEST freashman, maybe. Today made me back that up just a little more, and just a little more. It was great. So when i did my whole, "I don't believe in my left ar, it's against my religion." thing, she turned to me with the most sincere look and said: "Your jewish too?" and then we laughted, for that had to have been the best come-back for that joke ever. it was great. It made me happy.

i've been feeling really bad lately for some reason. maybe it's because of my indecicivness, but yeah. i'm really quite indifferent to many things, and i kinda wish i wasn't. I wish i could just make up my mind. but half the time thats not the problem, it's getting out what decision i have made. It's not so fun. Sometimes i wish i couls just do things with out thinking, but i can't. it makes me sad. I've also decided that I am afraid of social situations where i dont know the folk. yay me. I'm anti-social. whoot. I really need better people skills.

i feel bad. i can't explain why, but i feel horrible. I dont want to. I dont like to make decisions, I need couseling. I don't wanna feel bad. it makes me sad. make it stop.

so, i saw a mighty wind today. that was super fun. I enjoyed it lots.^^ It made me happy. I now understand lots of stuff chrys has been saying lately.yay me.

and i dont feel as bad anymore...just a lil still. but eh, such is life.