it's over!!!!

school endded today.. but it doesn't really fele like it, like I'm back in school on monday. meh. Went to the beach with Robin, Shane, Lenny, Matt, and Steven, were supposed to Meet up with whitney, Nicole, and Deanna..... there was quite some unneeded junk that went to boot. But we didn't meet them... went to the best Deli, and ate, tried a mango pinapple smoothie, and it was awsome! Zoomed home to get to graduation... Stopped at my house for sun dresses(which made robin feel liek an old lady) and then went and got pedicures/manicures with Whit and Nicole(we met them at graduation).

BUt the most interesting part of my day was at diner. and this is how the converstation went:

Andy: So Rae.. I hear you got a boyfriend.
Me: What?
Andy: I was told you had a boyfriend today.
Me: By who?
Andy: Zack Villar.
Me: Oh. I should've gussed. Who'd he say it was?
Andy: Julio.
Me: What? Why would he say that?
Andy: He saw him with his arm around you.
Me: What, now friends can't do that?
Andy: No.

I was very amused. It seems like someone's ex-freashmen is trying to spred some rumors....hmmm.... this would be interesting to see how far this got around school, except that school is out.

finals are over!!!!

yup, i have no more finals. English wasn't hard at all, just really annoying. MAth was hard though, and i forgot my clak! And Mrs. Brookes put me, Evan and Corrinne in a different room than everyone else. And then Even let me borrow his Clak when he was done, so it was all good. Adn there are no finals tomorroww.... only lots of drama and I think I'm going to have my mom call me out so I can leave with Robin early if I want. Mebbe not. we'll see....... Then we's(and by 'we's' i mean robin, shane and I... hopefully others) goin to the beach, where Robin will get a henna tatoo, and then we'll get our nails done, and then watch Becky sing! how eventful, whoo.

ick.

most of the begining scenes suck. they talk way to fast.

i am in a real foul mood. i have seriously almost cried about 10 time today. i have been trying to let this one thing go, one thing that i've been trying to make work for 3 years, and finally I am seeing the results. there was no love, no remorse, or sadness that we will never really see each other again, and it makes me sad because of the fake promises I've been given, i know they wont be kept, I said so aloud, but it was not believed. I was assured that it would be kept, but i know to well that it wont, I have heard it to much this year. The worst part is, even if the promise is kept, it wont be the same. there will be no feeling, or emotion in it. it will be kept for the sake of being kept. I dont think that it is quite understood how hurtful it is after all i've tried to do. Everyone was drawn because of illustion, of misunderstand and they all showed interest because they did not understand. I stayed because I like what was there, but the friendship i gave was not returned and never will. i tried to give up earlier, and i saw the results, how minor they were. but i would just like to let them know(even though i know they wont ever read this, because they dont read my blog) that i cared very much about all those things that i didn't seem to care about. I tried, and I failed. and i suppose it hurts more because of the other failures I had and I thought i could work it out, but i guess I'm not ambitous enough in that area to ever get it to work. i'm sorry. i just thought i'd let you know that i tried.

sorry if that seems confusing to you, it should be. I left out a few important nouns and prpoer names that should be there.... but i guess in a way i dont want them to know. you may or may not know who it is i'm talking about, but it really doesn't matter because i will never have the chance to try again. but i needed to get this out, and this was the only place i could. thanks for whoever(if anyone) reads this. i know i dont talk about my feelings much, and it's something i need to work on, and i am.

oi...

it's way too much effort to update this like i used too, or would like too. but oh well, not too much that can be done about that, except put more effort into it. and since i'm not gonna d that, too bad. Anyway, I've been being a super neoneard latly.... why dont you join me? my s/n is amieechan.

in other news... not much. schools almost out, have a good feeling about them SAT's.... Matt was at school today... bringing a tampon for Josh's present..... FINALLY getting a year book..... and some other stuff. Robin came over and we watched our strip tease... which was something. Not much else to say, how boring am i?