woo! play over!!!

yes, yes it is.^^ but there was no chrys to watch me...... i gues she was sick sll day. she wasn't at school for the crappy x-mas party. but stacy was there! that was happy for me. Kenna and i went and saw her choir thing at her school some months ago..... and she came and saw me! she also thanked me for keeping in touch with her.^^ She's really nice, i'm glad we know her.

Later, when i was walking with becky to my car(i was following her to Kelli's house) we (tomnas, and andrew schewitzer, and katie..... i'm not sure of her ast name. i played polo with her last weekend. she's nice.) were discussing butt slap/grabbing and demonstrating on others. tomas decided to demonstrate the 'slap and grab' on me. owch. not only did he do it once, nor twice, but quite a few times. i think he liked it, ew. But i like the residential hobbit. He showed me his new aligator jacket, it was kick ass.

Ohh, earlier that day i had had 3 parties in a row(2 of which i dind't know about until they happened.) and at Math Nicole decided that I had a really big ass, and that me and Robin could be black. It was pain. But we got food, after being yelled at because we didn't bring any, but yelled right back because they didn't tell us. same happened with 5th period. but not lunch, that was just bad junk. really, really bad junk. but there wasa poague and a michelle so it was okay. oh, and a chad. chad has really mellowed out and makes me happy.^^

i had really bad bakc-ach yesterday after polo and right before the play, so i poped 2 neproxin right off to prevent it, didn't really help to much. then mishi poped my back and it felt better real quick.^^ thanks michelle!!!!!

sorry i ran uinto random and unordererd tangents.......... but it was good.

oh, and at the polo party, it was fun.my gift went over real well. it was just a really big yankee candle. and everyone liked it. i got $10 to blockbuster, so i'm good. yay me.

!!!

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but whips and chains excite me
so throw me down and tie me up,
and show me that you like me.

i found this on a gaia forum. it makes me smile. ^^

winter break is almost here!!! I really need the reasponsibility break.... aurgh. Anyway, i took my brother to batting practice today. fun stuff. also gave my mom the wrong directioons to the parent meeting for polo....hmmmm.>> robin got me smelly stuff today from victorias secret. i'm not sure if i like because i usually dont, but i think i just might..... thank you robin.^^

winter break is almosst here!!!!

performance today was great... Loc was really, really off. So to speed up the play, Julio and i skipped half of our scene!^^ Aparently, even though i was mumbling, i did really well. who knew? i am so looking ofrward to not being forced to do work for all of a day or two... it will be very happy for me.

QE!

woo! Queer eye id tonight! Yeehaw-hur! (if you can't tell, i love this show. and it's their x-mas special tonight!!!!!!!!)

otherwise my day was dull... except i got my present from deanna which i love! and i got a ride home from cary in her cool car with multiple shoe boxes.... i wasn't quite sure why, but i didn't realy care to much either.and robin is a very bad direction giver(note: i said giver, as in actually saying them out loud.)

i'm now off to writh in my bordom because there is nothing for me to do online anymore!!!! I need a new RPG.....

errrggg.

my tummie's queezy. -_-

today was .... i dunno. interesting is what i'm compelled to say, but thats not what describes it i think. i've realized how little people read my blog.^^ they tend to do it in spurts, mostly in times of strife(woo! hard words!) and bordom. HEY!!! if you read my blog, let me know. I tend to be more open and pissy if i know others aren't reading.^^ I think I might get a counter again... just to see.....

anyways, on to my day. went to polo practice at 6:00. was kinda nice to finally get there.^^ gave people their presents, got a better reasponse than i thought i would. aparently i did a good job. 0.o who knew. i'm really tired. ooh! and i got ot drive to and from school today.^^ i was very happy.^^

i'm too lazy to blog any more... my heads not working. and i want to watch tv and play my pokemon game becaseu i haven't been able to latly..

yay saddam!

he was found today. And I'm, kinda indifferent. what a surprize. I kinda feel bad for the guy, but thats jsut me. i dont usually holf things against people for too long. eh.

I think I've finally let go(or given up, but i dont like losing) on some people who really needed to not been let go. I feel kinda sad, but i can't do anything for them. I honestly dont like them to feel the way they feel but i've come to accept that they would rather feel hopeless than anythinge lse because their afraid of what other things feel like. (by the way, this ir more than just one or two people, it's actually quite a few. so no commenting on how i dont understand, because you dont know and neither do i and we should leave it at that.)

i hate the way that they use bodily harm to let their frustrations out and take the pain away by physically feeling it. i suppose by cutting themselves it like actually opening an emotional wound and it heals as the cut itself does, but i dont thinkt hat why they do it and how they use it. but i can't say I'm totally against it and stuff, that would be quite hypocritical of myself. I mean, come on, I have 7 peircings. Thats is not just a coquincidense. There is a reaosn I have chossen peircings and not tatoos or cutting or branding; I am very fixated(saddly to say) about my physical appearance. I am not rpoud of it, bt if i wasn't so worried about what other people thought about me and what I'll look like when I'm 66. If that wasn't the issue, I'd be full of crap from head to toe. And anyways, these peircings are like a badge of honor to me, I have altered my body but i can remove them at any time and it will be like it was never there.

I also think scars tell a story, and marking yourself up is like lying on your autobiography. When your older and people ask you where you got a certain scar from your not gonna say, "Oh, i was severly deopressed and decided to cut myself." Even if you have come to terms with it, most people will look weirdly at you if you said that to them so you'll probly make up a story, like you got mrked up rolling down a cliff while you were snowboarding, or got pumulledin the rockes while surfing, or crashed into some thorny bushes while skating and such. But i dont know, you might tell them the truth. i'm not you so I can decide.

To be honest, I probly have about as many scars as you guys do, although I didn't intentionally inflict them upon myself. I was a bad little girl. From the 3rd grade until the end of middle school i had so manyu injuries it was ridiculus. Skinned my entire knee-cap early third, broke my arm late third, strained my middle fingure early 4th, broke my big toe late 5th, borke both pinky toes numerous time between 6th and 7th, and strained my index fingure in 8th. Oh, and cut up my hand playing racket bal in 8th. I have so many random chicken pox scars too. I was too old to wear the oven mitts, so i was left to my own devices.^^

I dont know where I'm going with this anymore, so i'm going to stop, but i hope you now know that i understand what it is you do. i know i dont have the same problems, but it's only because i've blocked my delf off from them because of family illnesses.(learning disorders, mental breakdowns, it's quite fun to live in a family full of manic deprssives!)

oh, by the way, nothings hopeless uness you let it be. as long as your my friend, I wont let you be hopeless unless you refuse to let me. It's your choice. please tell how you feel, but dont do it by telling me i'm wronge. opinions are never wronge.

survey-thingy!

found it in robins LJ and now what people to fill it out for me, so kenna, fred, and anybody else who has ever been here fillit out!!!!!!!

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I loveable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?

water polo... how i love thee.....

so, i woke up on saturday only to have my mom ask me to play imn the J.V. tournament. and i did, and i drove by myself all the way out to el capitan!^^ i was happy. We got 5th. darn. Rae played the entire time and way whole set! wooh! But rae got an elbow to the eye(these j.v.j players have no idea about the horrors of varsity, or worse, club.) so rae got a shiner, and although it hasn't gotten worse, the smelling and pain hasn't gone down. eek. we'll see. friends are getting their presents tomorrow!!!! i made all except half of two of them, i am proud.