i also feel so terrible about dan... I can't help it. It's not my fault... i just feel i could be doing so much more. Kenna was talking about getting her blood tested to see if she could donate platletes to dan.... i think i want to do that too. I mean, I hate needles, but i really want to do something that will help dan directly, not jus make him feel better. I am still going to do that though... i'm going to make him some shirts...get him some books and magazines to read(it has to be so boring) maybe make a video for him.... you know, stuff to keep him occupied and happy. let him know we miss him and still care for him even though he's gone.

I was so upset yesterday when i found out that he had already been moved to texas and we were to late to visit him. My dad was so incredibly mean to me. He told me i was being lame(in the incredibly critical way he does) about every 3 minutes. it made me so mad. And when I finally told him why i was workig slowly, i began to cry, and so i stopped. But then he said it would be making me work faster if i really wanted to go see Dan. What an ass. My dad needs couseling. I need counseling because of him. I am so frustrated with my life right now... I dont want to be in my house all the time all summer, but thats whats going to happen. I'm such a loser.... but i'm going to fix that... but i dunno how.