I finally remembered my blog. And what a time to remember! I'm fairly sure no one checks here since I haven't posted since last December.... so I feel safe venting a bit. Even if someone wanders across this page, I'm sure it will be after this is in the open. Keeping that in mind however, I will only be talking about my feelings here without the cause or reason. I still feel like I need to protect something, maybe just for my peace of mind, but still. You'll probably be able to piece somethings together without the details.
I am distraught and my mind is asea. I don't know how to think about it anymore. I am unclear as to where this is going. I was smart not to believe that the other night was the end of it. I am a much smarter person than that, and I know these things will take time to heal or sever, which ever happens to happen. It doesn't help that I feel totally alone one this.... I can neither be in that state of mine, nor can I be in my state of mind. Either one is too difficult to deal with. I am clinging to hopes and beliefs that I hope aren't ungrounded, that I hope are well warranted and will see me to where I need (and hopefully to where I want) to be.
There is a letter I am writing, and I hope it is a letter I never have to send. Or maybe I will send it anyway, if things turn out in my favor, which I am not sure what is right now. There are valid points from both arguments and my intermittent and persuasive nature does nothing but fail me now.
I hate this. I want it to go away.
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