"i'm sad that i'm flying."

I am not in a sad mood; I am just a little disappointed in myself. We had a red shirt today. Belinda "started" choking, and I thought it was real and basically froze, i couldn't remember anything. The only two things I did right was to tell her to keep caughing and then to ask for help because i didn't remember what to do. Eileen, said thats why we do them, so we can screw up without someone dying. My mom said every redshirt is like that, and none of the other guards I tlaked to seemed to be to worried about it. It is just slightly disappointing to find that under pressure I freeze. I suppose I'll get over it, and at least when someone is really checking I wont freak out.