dUde

After posting the Walk of Shame, and then takin gmy puppy for a walk, it began to sink in. It wasn't the packing, or the making new friends, or moving, or leaving or anything that made it real, it was my dog. With my parents and family and friends an collegues, they know where I'm going. They know what I mean when I say I am going to school. My dog isn't going to understand that. He's not going to know what all the boxes mean, or what all the pets or walks are for. He's not going to understand why I don't come home at night. He's not going to understand that, even though he's waiting by the door so he can make sure we're all safe, I'm not going to show up. ANd he's really not going to get it when i dont come home from school in the afternoon to walk him. He's not going to know why I'm not at the beach with him on sundays, why I am not sleeping in my bed, why all of my stuff is gone from my room. He's not going to know if I'm ever going to come back again. He doesn't know that it's not like my trip to Mexico, or camp, or Florida, or Berkley or whereever. He doesn't know. He wont get it.

i dont know if I want to leave my puppy. i dont think I'm ready.